


A Story About You

by WelpThisIsMyLifeNow



Series: A Skeleton's Pride and its Consequences [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dancetale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Echotale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Farmtale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Fellswap (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Horrortale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Mafiafell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underpatch (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Dancetale Papyrus (Undertale), Dancetale Sans (Undertale), Echotale Papyrus (Undertale), Echotale Sans (Undertale), Everyone is soft for reader and I’m not sorry for it, F/F, F/M, Fellswap Papyrus (Undertale) - Freeform, Fellswap Sans (Undertale) - Freeform, Horrortale Papyrus (Undertale), Horrortale Sans (Undertale), I'm going to try to make it so you don't really need to read the previous parts to get the gist, Mixed Media, Mostly Fluff, Multi, Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Some mild spooky elements :'), Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), Underlust Papyrus (Undertale), Underlust Sans (Undertale), Underpatch Papyrus (Undertale), Underpatch Sans (Undertale), Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), Underswap Sans (Undertale), if you don't want to read the prequel to this that's totes fine, mostly slice of life, reader is female, so if you like a bunch of boneheads being soft this is the fic for you, though gender isn’t heavily referenced
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:48:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27194674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WelpThisIsMyLifeNow/pseuds/WelpThisIsMyLifeNow
Summary: You are about to read a story.There may be many details that are similar, or the same, to your life. There may be many that are different.There may be many actions taken in this world that you would take. There are many that you would not, under any circumstances, ever choose to do.Throughout all of this, however, there is one thing that should be clear:This is not a story about them.This is a story about you._________A sequel to "A Skeleton Pride Parade." I will do my best to make it so reading that is not required to read this.
Relationships: Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Series: A Skeleton's Pride and its Consequences [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920691
Comments: 80
Kudos: 93





	1. WELCOME.

Have you ever tried to communicate with something unseen? 

Maybe it was a conversation, on the phone, to a stranger who dialed a wrong number. Or a whisper, during the night, to a friend on the other side of darkness. Or a knock-knocking of your fist on a closed door—the start of a joke to an invisible audience. 

Every one of these an involuntary act of trust to an other: a promise that yes, I am there. Yes, I am listening. Yes, I am who you think I am—whoever that may be.

Have you ever tried to talk to something that you weren’t sure was there?

Possibly a prayer to some higher deity in a moment of peace or panic, or a wish on the cosmic entity of choice, or a message—desperate and heartbroken—to a lost loved one? 

Have you ever doubted the act of speaking—not trusted that the listener was there—but chose to speak anyway?

Have you ever spoken to yourself?

Perhaps this takes the form of the everyday undercurrent of verbal consciousness, for those who think in that way. Or a note to yourself, a conversation with the you of another time—either as a reminder in the past, or an attempt to shape the future. Or you, speaking to someone in a dream—a brain talking to its own creation, and that creation talking back. 

A process of trust—perhaps chemical, perhaps from the soul—that this you is _you,_ one and the same.

You are about to read a story.

There may be many details that are similar, or the same, to your life. There may be many that are different.

There may be many actions taken in this world that you would take. There are many that you would not, under any circumstances, ever choose to do.

Throughout all of this, however, there is one thing that should be clear:

This is not a story about them.

This is a story about you. 


	2. Do You Remember?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!  
> This first chapter will be primarily recap on what's happened for the story so far for those who don't want to read the prequel to this story (as well as detailing the reader’s first day back from pride). I'll additionally post a link to some clear-cut bullet points of events that have happened so far.  
> It's great to have you here, reader, and I hope you enjoy what's to come. ♡

You laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling. 

So… that had been, by _far_ , the longest week of your life. 

Before the trip had begun, you had expected to be at least a _little_ emotionally drained by the week. After all, you were an in-the-closet pansexual going to the first pride week monsters were allowed to celebrate at since they came topside. Safe to say, you knew it wasn’t going to be _all_ easy-breezy relaxing by the pool…

But you hadn’t expected meeting skeleton after skeleton, _hooking up_ with a fair number of them ( _plus one spider monster),_ getting _arrested_ for sticking up for a couple of the skeletons as _they_ got arrested, going _viral_ because of the arrest, meeting the _Beyonce of monsters_ and going on his show, and the _protest_ at pride, and the _marriage proposal_ between Felix and Hopps, _and, most fucking batshit insane of all..._

The realization that your skeleton friends _(Hook up partners? People temporarily plotting to kill you? Fellow soldiers in the marshmallow wars?)_ were all copies of two brothers from different universes, discovered when you were fucking _teleported across time and space_ to one of their universes for a day.

Longest fucking week of your life, indeed. 

...Well, technically, your vacation had been _ten_ days, so a bit more than a week.

…And, technically, you had squeezed in an _eleventh_ day when you were stuck in an alternate universe for a bit.

Right. _Great_. 

Two weeks ago, you would’ve probably _begged_ for another day of vacation. Now, sitting in your bed, staring at the clock as you waited for your alarm to go off for work—you were glad to have the normalcy. 

You closed your eyes, huffing out a laugh to yourself, the action feeling particularly loud in the dark, cozy silence of morning.

_‘Normal.’ Sure. I think I need to change that definition now… and probably get a therapist._

Rubbing your face wearily, you gave a deep sigh. 

_Wait, that’s right. I_ **_am_ ** _a therapist._

With that thought, you decided to get up, getting a jump start to your routine as you began to get ready for work. _Well, I suppose I’ve heard stranger things from my clients. Still… probably for the best that I deal with this one on my own. I promised to keep that all secret, after all._

Although you hadn’t known it at the time, _apparently_ the skeletons had been debating all week about whether to kill you for your ever-increasing knowledge of the doubles. By the time it was far too late—when you and Red got accidentally teleported to his universe, and there was no way to use the argument that you’d never figure it out—Red had assumed you’d be dead meat the moment you got back.

You… honestly weren’t sure why they _hadn’t_ killed you when you returned. Red—the one that was assigned to off you in the first place—said he had decided against it because he _knew_ you wouldn’t tell (which was true, but how could _he_ be certain of that?), and because…

You felt your face heat as you pulled on your shirt, thinking back to the night you two spent on the beach in his universe. 

...Because he cared about you.

The logical, analytical part of your mind wondered just how much one person could possibly care for another in the span of ten-ish days, but… whatever it was, it seemed to work. You weren’t even _half_ as close with some of the others as you were with Red, but—for whatever reason—they all agreed to let you live.

You supposed it wasn’t your place to question ( _not looking gift horses in the mouth, and all that)_ , but it might be something you’d have to dig on later.

 _After_ work, though.

Once fully sorted for your day, you grabbed your keys, your badge, and your Narcan, slipping into your car. Just before you pulled out, though, you were struck with a memory—for a moment, you saw a motorcycle in your garage, before you blinked and the memory faded from view.

_That’s right. That whole thing._

When trapped in Red’s universe, the two of you attempted to seek shelter at the copy of your house that existed there. It was _supposed_ to be owned by the you of that universe; all of the major details between universes were _supposed_ to be the same.

But… the _you_ of his universe was gone. Maybe moved somewhere else, or never born, or—and Red seemed to think, for some reason, that this was the most likely option— _dead_. Inexplicably… there was no _you_ to be found.

You took a breath, focusing on backing up out of your driveway. _…Okay, maybe I’ll get a therapist and try to talk about that one as a metaphor. That one would work, right? Death anxiety is our bread and butter._

Shaking your inner thoughts off, you focused back in on driving. With time to kill, you took the long route on your way to your morning coffee, getting an _extra_ large for your first day back. 

You pulled into the large parking lot that was surrounded by the various buildings that belonged to your organization. You worked for a nonprofit that offered a buffet of inpatient and outpatient services for a wide population of clients. Your job, mainly, was assessments: you met with the client first, made recommendations, and then guided them to whatever treatment was best. 

It was tough work; you usually met people when they were at ( _or_ — _more commonly_ — _far past)_ their breaking points. If not, it was usually an unwilling visit—dragged in by family members, sentenced by court, probation, parole… 

All people that needed something, now, _today_ , despite whatever hundred things could not fit or go wrong.

You loved the work. There were so many moving pieces, so many puzzles within puzzles you had to figure out—if nothing else, it was _never_ boring.

Some days, however, were harder than others.

You knew going into it that today would be one such day. Your already understaffed coworkers had graciously covered for you during your vacation, and now it was your turn to take on a bit extra to give them time to play catch up. 

_Still,_ even despite your armored set of mental preparation, by the end of the day you were feeling pretty severely battered. One half of your day was spent starting court-ordered assessments: people who _absolutely did not_ want to be there, and would likely be legally forced to do whatever you suggested at the end of the _weeks_ the assessment took. The other half was assessing people looking for inpatient—and your facility had no open beds, so it was a lot of desperately finding somewhere _else_ in the state that had an open bed, and took their insurance, and would save the bed long enough for them to scrounge up _some_ kind of ride. Most of the people ended up having to wait. Some were understanding. Some of them blamed _you_ for that, as if you had some extra bed in your pocket you weren’t giving to them. 

All of them left—and you tried not to wonder how many would make it back until tomorrow. 

First day back on the job _always_ sucked.

The moment you got home, you collapsed on the couch like it was the sole point of gravity in the world, your suddenly heavy bones quickly sinking down into the plush fabric. Your cat—acting attention-starved from the week you’d spent away _(despite well knowing you had a friend housewatching the entire time you were gone),_ instantly jumped on your lap, yelling at you until you gave her a sufficient amount of pets. It took _all_ of your leftover stamina, but you successfully completed the task, and she sat down on your arm as a reward for your efforts. 

Shifting her slightly, you dug out your phone from your pocket with your free hand and looked at the messages. Work _technically_ allowed you to look at your phone all you liked ( _within reason, anyway_ ), but you hardly ever had a spare second to glance at it, let alone reply—which, if you thought about it, was likely why they allowed it in the first place.

You scrolled through the notifications. You had… a _lot_ of new text messages, all from friends ( _human and skeleton included)._

Closing your eyes, you put your phone back down. _Right_. This was your new normal.

There had been a moment when you had returned from Red’s universe when the group of skeletons had given you a definitive _out_ option. If you wanted, you knew they would have left you alone, let you choose to live your life normally and try to forget all you’d seen.

The choice had been there: either _fuck this shit, I’m out_ or… in it for the long haul.

Thinking on it, if you _really_ wanted out again, you doubted they would try to stop you; they definitely all seemed to understand that this was a mind-blowing, potentially _life-threatening_ thing to get wrapped up in. But… after that moment, it felt as if they trusted you to stay, despite knowing what you knew.

You had even agreed to help them run some tests when you could; none of the skeletons had any clue how you and Red got to his universe, and the doubles were still looking for a way to get back home. Of course, you had your own life to attend to… but you’d stop by their place when you had the free time.

You laughed under your breath, leaning your head back against the cushions. They had offered to just straight-up _give you_ all the free time in the world—offered you a place to stay, to be “paid” as a research assistant as you helped them with tests, but…

That didn’t seem healthy, especially with how you’d only known them for ten days. Especially _especially_ with how they’d spent most of that time debating on whether to kill you or not. Especially especially _especially_ since you were casually romantically involved with a few of them, which, _god_ , the idea of having to live in a house and deal with _that_ …

No thanks. You… didn’t know what you wanted to do about that yet. 

_But luckily that can wait! Thank you, brain, for telling Sans I’d want to wait until next weekend to get started on helping out._

You sunk deeper into the couch, your arm only _barely_ having the energy to make it to the remote. Normally you’d wait for Grace—your best friend, roommate, and pride-week attendee partner—to get home to turn on the tube, but you were a bit desperate to turn the dial of your mind off. She worked at the same place as you did (doing administrative work, not clinical) and her hours ended a couple after yours, so you had some time to kill before her gentle presence would arrive and help distract you. 

You turned on the TV, defaulting to your go-to letsplay streaming service. The thought of just sitting and listening to someone talk without any kind of emotional demands on you in return was _bliss_ after your day. You picked the first streamer that came up, shut your eyes, and listened as they chatted about some game you would never buy or play…

You had _almost_ drifted off—sleep just _barely_ overtaking consciousness—when a knock at the door snapped you out of blackness.

Sitting up quickly, you looked at your phone, before looking back up to the door. _Did I… sleep order pizza or something? I know I’m too tired to cook, but jeeze, stomach_ — _you’re getting a bit ballsy here._

It took you a long moment to answer the door. When you finally did, you had to resist the urge to immediately shut it again. Alternatively, you opened the screen door as well, holding it open with your hip as you stood in the doorway. You blinked several times to ensure that there, indeed, was a skeleton in your vision.

“Red?” you asked, your voice sounding ladened with sleep. You tried to clear your throat of it. “What’re you doing here?”

The portly, spikey skeleton stood out on your porch, red eyelights bright against the darkening sky behind him. He was sweating slightly. 

“heya, doll. uh, sorry to pop over out of the blue…”

You stared as a silence took over. When he offered nothing else besides a visible increase in sweat under your deadened look, you broke the eye contact to rub your face.

“What’s up?”

A small piece of you wanted to let the annoyance slip into your voice, but… you knew better to take your own tiredness on someone else. You tried to tap into your well of patience. “You’re, uh, kind of a long way from home, huh?” Ebott was a good couple hours from you—which meant many teleporting jumps from Red. 

“uh, yeah,” he said. You then heard a hollow tapping noise—and realized his fingers were tapping on the sides of a pizza box he had in his hands. _God_ , you must have been tired to miss that. “ya weren’t answerin’ yer phone, and, uh, not that ya ever need ta—’m sure yer busy with work and all that shit—but, y’know, after yesterday n’ all, i guess i was worried…”

You took a deep breath as the typical war between aggravation and heart-warming sweetness battled within you—an apparently common occurrence when skeletons were around. 

That was right; after you and he got sent to his universe, Red had been so worried about what would happen when you came back that he’d tried to convince you to stay with him there. 

It had seemed to work out for the best, but he was clearly still worried—enough, apparently, to come all the way from Ebott to your city with a box of pizza.

_That… damningly sweet dork._

“Alright, ya big lug, get in here.”

Red looked immediately sheepish, stepping back as he pushed the pizza in your direction, as if using it as a barrier to keep you from getting closer. 

“nah, kitten, ‘s fine—the pizza is just an apology fer showin’ up on yer front porch uninvited. here.”

He pushed the pizza closer to you, but you didn’t offer up your hands, leaning your hip on the doorframe. 

“You really thought I was gonna let you come all this way, give me a pizza, and not share it with you?”

“uh…” he hazarded, that uneasy, luminescent sweat just _barely_ beginning to form on his skull “yeah?”

You stared for a second before realization dawned, causing you to rub your eyes wearily. _Right. He came from the rude ‘tude universe._

Looking back to him, you smiled tiredly. _Man, as rough as a place he came from, it looks like he’s picking up the knack of being nice quite well. But… also seems like he hasn’t learned how to expect it in return, yet._

“I’m not gonna lie—I could probably eat this bad boy by myself, but I’d _rather_ share it with you. Come in, please, will you?” You then wiggled your brows enticingly at him. “I also probably have one really old beer in the back of my fridge somewhere.”

His eyelights flickered over your face for a beat before he finally relented, his shoulders sagging in defeat as he nodded. “alright, alright. only ‘cuz ya made it sound so appetizin’.”

You snickered as you stepped out of the way to let him inside, closing the heavy door behind him as he came through. You placed the pizza box on the coffee table in front of your couch before gesturing to your tiny, only _slightly_ messy living room.

“Welcome to my beautiful mansion home. In here, you’ll see my two couches that are at the height of cat-clawed fashion, my beanbag chair, my tv, and my fireplace that is incredibly fake but _technically_ functional if you set it on fire. The dining room-” you took approximately two steps backwards “is right through there, and-” another two steps “-kitchen is right here, and there’s a bathroom that’s so tiny you’ll fall out of it if you sneeze.” 

Red chuckled, looking around at the decorations dotting your walls with a surprising amount of interest. He stayed in your living room, turning to your shelves as you went into the kitchen and started to dig through your fridge. “i like it; ‘s cozy as hell. didn’t know ya were such a gardener, though.” 

You attempted to look back at him while your arms were mid-condiments deep in your fridge shelves. It was actually for the best that he brought the pizza; you couldn’t say you had much food on hand after your vacation.

“What are you—oh,” you said, watching as he poked a succulent. “That’s all Grace; I seem to be doomed to kill anything I touch. Grace, alternatively, seems to have the god-like ability to bring back plants from the dead. It’s a good system we have; I kill them, she brings them back to life. Fun for the whole family.”

Successfully finding a beer stashed in the back of the fridge, you moved and grabbed a churchkey from a drawer before popping the top. You then walked back out, and he was still staring at the succulent.

“she must have a green soul…” he mused aloud.

“What, seriously?” you asked. It seemed to snap him out of whatever thought process he was in. You offered the beer towards him, and he accepted, taking it gingerly out of your fingers. “I didn’t know that’s how that worked.”

“thanks, kitten. and yeah, could be wrong,” he said, shrugging. “but kind souls are good at bringin’ things to life. might be a clue, might be bunk.”

You puffed out a laugh. “Well, guess I must have a black soul, then, with the way I kill things.”

He finally looked away from the succulent, red eyes briefly flickering to your chest before meeting your stare. His eyes were… surprisingly intent. “doubt it, babydoll.”

His tone was _far_ more serious than your joke called for, and you felt a blush start to rise. You coughed, motioning to the couch. “Well, that concludes the tour for tonight. Why don’t we-”

“no upstairs tour? did i book the discount tickets?”

Huffing a laugh, you rolled your eyes as you went back into the kitchen, and grabbed some plates, standing tiptoe as you reached into the cabinets. “‘Fraid so. All that's up there is my room, Grace's room, a guest bedroom, and a bathroom, anyway. Why don’t you grab a seat on the couch and take a load off?”

“take me ta yer bedroom, and i might take a _load_ off-”

“ _Red!”_ you laughed, nearly dropping the pair of plates in your hands. Unable to force down your giggling, you shook your head as you returned to the living room. Red was now seated at the far end of the three person couch, his arm stretched out over the second seat. 

You took that as an open invitation, slumping against him as you handed him a plate. You felt him immediately stiffen underneath you, his hands hesitating a moment before he accepted the dish.

“Hope you don’t mind my fingers on your food,” you said, not exactly asking for permission as you lifted the box cover, took a slice from within, and dropped it on his plate.

“only if ya don’t mind my fingers on yer-” he began, but you cut him off with a _mild_ elbow to the ribs. He let out a cough-laugh as you grabbed your own slice before leaning back into him. 

“You’re lucky I’m too tired to kick your ass,” you joked, taking a bite of pizza. It was a little cold, but greasy and _good_. You closed your eyes, leaning into him as you chewed. Even your _jaw_ felt tired. 

“rough day?” he asked. You turned your head in time to watch the pizza be sliced cleanly by those sharp teeth. You nodded, trying not to stare, turning instead to flick the TV to Netflix to find something to watch. 

“Yeah. But it’s done and over with. Just four more days, then the weekend.” You selected something random to watch—one of your favorite shows about cowboy pirates in space—and leaned your head back against Red’s arm. It didn’t make for the best pillow, but you closed your eyes nonetheless. “I’m surprised you’re not still asleep after everything.”

“nah, those assholes were makin’ a hell of a racket movin’ in,” Red sighed, taking an especially agitated bite at the slice, devouring it in a couple more chomps. You breathed out a laugh as you leaned forward, grabbing him another one. He must have been even more tired than you were; last you had seen him, he’d barely been able to stand from his magic depletion. It was a miracle he had made it here at all.

“I still can’t believe Edge is letting them move in,” you said as you leaned back against him. “Yesterday I was worried about you guys murdering one another; now it’s gonna be one big happy family.”

“yeah. fuckin’ idyllic,” Red grumbled. “i give it three days before someone starts knockin’ skulls—n’ if i don’t get some sleep soon, it’s gonna be me. i can’t fuckin’ _stand_ those guys.”

“Red, that’s basically _you_ and your _brother_ you’re talking about,” you laughed.

“ _exactly_ ,” Red said, only a hint of humor beneath his tone. You felt the hand stretched out around you brush over the curve of your shoulder, his boney thumb running back and forth over your skin idy. When you turned to look at him, his face was staring at the TV, looking thoughtful; you wondered if he realized he was doing it at all. “don’t blame ya fer not wantin' to live with us, kitten. ’s gonna be a clusterfuck.”

“You _know_ that’s not why. Although… admittedly, that does sound chaotic, and I _do_ like having this little slice of peace I’ve cut out for myself.” As he looked to you, you were able to see his face up close—you cringed sympathetically. He had dark circles under his eyes, the poor thing, and those normally bright eyelights were muted. “If you ever need some time away, I _do_ have an extra bedroom. You’re always welcome to it.”

“what,” he grinned teasingly, the effect somewhat diminished by those tired eyes, “can’t i stay in your bed?” 

You gave him a lame look, though had difficulty stifling your amused smirk as he smiled cheekily back at you. Before you could retort, his look softened slightly, and he turned back to the tv as he spoke. “nah, ’m sure it’ll be fine. tonight i’ll be out likea snuffed flamesman.” He took another large bite, this time nearly half of the pizza disappearing in a single go.

“Oh? They’re gonna be done moving that soon?”

“nah-” Red began, then seemed to stop himself. You caught his eyes flickering to you hesitantly for a second before they went back to the tv. “maybe... it was less th’ noise, n’ more the worry. now that ‘m sure yer okay, i feel like i could knock out.”

That sweet, pleased warmth encircled you as you forced yourself to look forward, unsure of what to say. The impulsive part of you wanted to, perhaps, lean a bit closer to him, reach out and meet that sweetness with physicality…

But you forced your stare to stay forward, your fists curling in your lap.

You had kissed Red, once, back in his universe. But that had been when you were both stuck in a crazy, potentially life-or-death situation. Sure, he was flirty as hell—but he’d been that way since the very start, and that was clearly just part of his personality. And _you_ , too, hadn’t thought you’d see any of them after this week. It wasn’t fair to re-delve into that kind of thing when you didn’t know what you wanted.

So, instead, you merely said: “Well, offer is on the table, whenever you want. _Especially_ if you bring food with you.” 

Your phone buzzed beside you, and you picked it up, thankful for the abrupt distraction. You smiled as you looked over the notification, a laugh at your breath. 

**Partner in crime:** _honey, you made the right choice. get me outta here._

“Though, judging by what Stretch is telling me, you might not be alone in your frustration. I might have that bed booked up by the end of the week.” 

Red was silent, and you felt the thumb on your shoulder pause its movements. There was an obvious, waiting pause—but you found you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. You heard him, after a beat of waiting, clear his throat.

“hey, doll, do ya wanna-”

Red was cut off as the front door’s lock rattled before swinging open. Grace stepped inside, her head automatically swiveling to where you sat, mouth opening for the same soft greeting she gave you every day-

Then she saw Red, and paused.

“Uh, hi guys,” she said, hand on the door. Her eyes then flickered to you, obviously assessing your cozy position. She seemed surprised.

“Hey, Grace. You remember meeting Red, right-?”

Your voice caught as realization hit. 

_Right. The last time Grace saw Red, she was helping me run away from him._ She was also aware you two had cleared the air after that incident, but likely hadn’t expected you to be so… comfortable.

“...Yes, I do, in fact, remember that,” she said, closing the door. Her voice held far more confusion than anything else. The sudden apparition of awkward air didn’t go unnoticed by Red.

“heheh, uh, what’s with the-” 

_Ding ding!_

You could practically hear realization dawn on him. You felt his clawed grip lightly press into the grip of your shoulder, his anxiety clearly spiking.

“uh, ya want some pizza?” Red offered. “ ‘s all magic, so ‘s vegan.”

“Where’d you get magic pizza—oh wait, that’s right, you live in Ebott, yeah? Did you drive all the way out here just to have pizza?”

“drive? nah, i-” Red began, cutting himself off. You internally facepalmed. 

_Red, you can’t even keep your own fucking secret about teleporting sweet baby bike riding christ-_

“No, he didn’t drive here for pizza, he drove here to, uh, spend the night,” you covered. Your brain then caught up with your mouth, and you attempted to shove the blush that threatened to rise back into your capillaries. “Some of his cousins are moving in, and apparently it’s a noisy change. I said he could come over and get some rest.”

“Uh huh,” Grace said, her tone disbelieving. “That’s a long way to get some rest.”

_Grace Dinarte I love you but if you keep looking at me with that smug look I may suffocate you._

“That… That’s not…”

Grace quietly snickered as you felt your face heat. She then pulled out a slice of pizza, lifting it in a toast towards the two of you. 

“Well, happy new beginnings to you two,” she said. She then walked off, leaving up the stairs, clearly intending to give the two of you some privacy. As soon as her footsteps faded to the second floor, you turned to Red, giving him your best, clearest _are-you-shitting-me_ look.

He shrugged casually, though you saw the red sweat begin to dot his forehead under your stare. “heh. well, at least we won’t have to explain anythin’ to her if we end up in the same bed after all-”

You cut him off with a groan, rubbing your face. 

_To new beginnings, indeed._

Red and you continued your show, you watching it with eyes more closed than open. Every once in a while, Red would comment on something—a character he particularly liked or didn’t like, or some kind of joke. You did your best to keep your eyes open—Red was fun to talk to, and even if you hadn’t been keen on the idea of spending more social energy, the idle chatter didn’t feel draining in the least—but it was tough to stay present.

All you could really focus on was the way his deep voice vibrated behind you every time he spoke or laughed. His ribcage was a _little_ tough to get used to, but every time he spoke, it felt like a purr against your spine…

Before you knew it, you had slipped into an easy, deep blackness.

  
If you dreamt that night[,](https://youtu.be/RnZL1HsXdDE) you couldn’t remember it.

Holy _tits_ , you were tired and sore when you woke up. You must’ve left the curtain open; the light was far too _bright_ for your tastes. You tried to blink your eyes open against the light, hands going up to stretch-

Sudden, searing pain jolted one of your hands, startling you fully awake.

“what the _fuck_ edge—oh,” you heard behind you. You sat up, wheeling around. Red was sitting there, rubbing his jaw. “heya, dollface. that’s quite a right hook ya got; i’ll have ta remember that.”

“I _punched_ you?” you asked, attempting to shake the pain out of your hand. “Shit, Red, fuck, I’m so sorry— _waitwhattimeisit?_ ”

“uh,” Red hazarded, rubbing a socket as he pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket as you scrambled to find yours, likely lost somewhere among the couch cushions. “‘s seven forty-five-”

“ _Fuck_ ,” you groaned, running a hand through your hair. You were instantly standing up, tearing the couch cushions apart as you looked for your phone. “God, I maybe have five, ten minutes _tops_ before I need to leave or I’ll be late.”

“shit, kitten, sorry—i’ll look for yer phone while ya get dressed.”

You took a breath, attempting to stay on the saddle of your adrenaline as you nodded. “That’s a good idea. Thanks for helping, Red.”

He merely nodded, and you turned away from his worried stare as you rushed upstairs, zooming into the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. You then practically kicked the bathroom door open as you darted into your room, changing into the first outfit you could find. Your cat was staring at you woefully from the bed, clearly put off that you had spent _another_ night away from her. 

You did your best to give her a few sincerely apologetic strokes before rushing back downstairs, pulling your shirt all the way back down as you descended the last few steps. You then quickly ran your fingers through your hair again before tying it up, the elastic that had joined you for your sleep leaving a deep red mark on your wrist.

Once your hair was secure, you rubbed it and sighed. _Okay. Okay. What next?_

“uh, kitten, here’s yer phone. i think it’s dead, though.” Red said, offering your phone to you, his eyes glanced away. You let out a soft frustrated noise before looking to Red. He still wasn’t looking at you.

“Sorry, Red, jeeze. What a way to be woken up,” you said, stuffing your phone into your pocket. You moved through the open doorway and into the kitchen, grabbing a can of cat food from the cabinet and quickly tearing it open before spooning it out onto a plate, which then you put on the floor. “I’m so sorry, I’ll have to make it up to you later-”

“yer not mad at me?” Red asked. You paused, mid rise, turning to look at him for a beat ( _a precious, wasted beat)_ before straightening. 

“What? No, of course not. Listen, you sweet spikey bean, I have no idea what you think you need to apologize for but I literally punched you less than ten minutes ago so, uh, whatever it is, consider ourselves even. Or, really, me in apology-debt.”

You grabbed your keys, kicking on your shoes. “Okay. Okay. Today is going to be murder without coffee, but I’ll make it through until lunch-” you opened up the fridge to take out your lunch bag, then spotted the empty space in the fridge “- _and_ I forgot to pack lunch last night, because of course I did.”

You shut the fridge door shut, then walked back out to the living room. Without any time to overthink it, you quickly hugged Red, leaning over to give his jaw a quick kiss where you’d punched him. You pulled back, smiling haggardly at him. His sockets were wide, eyelights pinpricks.

“Sorry for the rushed goodbye. Don’t feel the need to leave immediately; Grace won’t care if you need a bit to get your bearings. I’ll text you when I get my phone charged, and I’ll see you sometime this weekend. Bye!”

Red watched as you left, barely remembering to utter out a “bye, kitten,” as you flung open the front door and slammed it shut behind you. Not long after, he heard the deep rumble of an engine as you pulled out of the driveway.

His fingers raised and ghosted over the part of his jaw you’d kissed.

He was… _pretty_ sure it was his fault you had such a rough morning. You’d clearly fallen asleep before him on the couch, and he _could_ have woke you up— _should_ have woke you up—but… he didn’t.

He was selfish. 

Taking a deep breath, he looked down—and saw that barely-there glow beneath his shirt.

_shitfuckshit-_

He instantly zipped his hoodie up, growling to himself. You hadn’t noticed that, right? Last time you’d seen it, you made a joke about it, not knowing what it was—you would’ve teased him again if you saw, right?

He took another deep breath, trying to sober his thoughts. 

_don’t let last night get to yer head, numbskull. this ain’t gonna last, and ya know it._

How many more times would you let him be close like this before..?

Well, before you either found out what the _real_ him was like, or before you decided you liked one of his doubles better instead.

It was only a matter of time.

Red sighed, a skeletal hand clacking against his face as he attempted to rub the exhaustion away. Zipping up his sweatshirt slightly, he ported out of the house, quickly going to a nearby coffee shop he’d used as a waypoint for one of his jumps. He rushed through buying three coffees and a few breakfast sandwiches, getting some cream and sugar on the side. Once done, he popped back inside your house. 

Luckily, he popped into an empty room—retrospectively having a soul attack when he realized he did it unthinkingly. 

_fuck, boss would have my head if he knew i was bein’ careless._

As if on cue, he heard your roommate come downstairs. He quickly sorted the items, putting one coffee and one sandwich aside just as Grace walked into the kitchen. She didn’t appear surprised by his presence, giving a soft “hey” as she moved past him and began to tug on her shoes. 

“uh, you n’ her work together, yeah?” Red asked, holding his items a bit awkwardly in his hand. 

“Yeah?” Grace affirmed simply. Red offered the coffees and bag of food in her direction.

“er, yer friend was runnin’ late n’ didn’t get shit ta eat, so could ya bring this in? i got ya a coffee n’ somethin’ too fer yer trouble. made sure yers was vegan.”

“Aw, sure thing. That's a nice thing to do.” Grace accepted the items, her smile small but genuine. She then looked over Red.

For such a quiet, small person, she didn’t seem intimidated by Red in the least, her eyes unflinchingly evaluative. “I heard what happened at the party was a misunderstanding, but I’d like to be sure. No more kidnapping plots, yeah?”

Red felt struck, his soul trapped under her critical stare. “y-yeah, of course.”

“Cool. I’ll be rooting for you, then. Make sure to lock the door behind you when you leave.”

With that, she maneuvered her way out the front door with breakfast in hand, closing it behind her with her foot. 

Red stared at the closed door. 

_huh. ya got yerself some interestin’ friends, doll._

Red took his time, slowly making his way through the breakfast sandwich as he ~~snooped~~ looked over your house casually. At one point, he spied a furry ear and eye, poking _just_ in view at the top of the staircase—but your cat quickly fled as soon as it spotted him. _another reason it'd be fer the best ya didn't move in; doomfanger would probably eat that cat alive._

Eventually Red decided to head out, downing his coffee quickly before taking the trek back. It took _many_ jumps, and by the time he stood back in front of the large, externally pristine mansion, he was _exhausted._ He took a deep breath, preparing himself before roughly opening the door.

As expected, the place was still a _m_ _ess_. The formerly sparsely-decorated massive foyer was jammed to the brim with boxes, mismatched furniture, science equipment, and straight-up _junk_ all over the place. The place had previously been designed with Edge’s cold and precise stylish calculation. Now, it looked much more homey—and much more like an episode of _hoarders_.

_it's a fuckin' wonder boss hasn't dusted them all yet._

“AH, RED!” Papyrus greeted as Red shut the front door behind him. The tall skeleton was hanging a picture of a lone bone by the stairwell. No one else seemed to be around at the moment, though Red could hear the bangs and tremors below his feet that signaled many of the others likely weren't far away. “YOUR BROTHER SAID YOU LIKELY WENT ON ONE OF YOUR ‘BENDERS’ AND THAT WE WOULD NOT SEE YOU FOR SEVERAL DAYS. I’M GLAD TO SEE THAT’S NOT THE CASE!”

Red blinked, staring up at that bright face. It was _always_ weird to see such unsarcastic positivity coming out in a voice that was so similar to his brother’s. 

"uh, yeah. where'd the rest of those asshats go off to?"

"OUR FELLOW BRETHEREN ARE DOWNSTAIRS!" Papyrus said. Red wasn't sure if Papyrus was purposefully ignoring Red's slight or not, looking unaffected as he turned to Red, placing his hands on his hips casually. "COME, LET US BE OF AID! I'M SURE THEY COULD USE THE EXPERTISE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AS WELL AS THE ALSO-GREAT-BUT-NOT-QUITE-AS-GREAT EXPERTISE OF RED!"

Red swiped a hand over his skull—normally, he would've bitten the head off of anyone other than Edge telling him what to do, but... he just didn't feel the same urge to bite at Papyrus like he normally did. _probably that long fuckin' trip wearin' me out._

He simply nodded instead, following Papyrus through the living room, down the hallway, and through the door at the end that led to the basement. As soon as he descended, he spied the faces of the whole gang—and nearly all of them paused in their tasks stare at Red—save for the Sans of this universe, who was continuing his work of setting a bunch of junky-looking mechanical parts out of a box. Red recognized it as parts of the machine back in Snowdin.

A bunch of faces that looked so eerily similar to his own and his brother's, staring back at him.

 _this is fuckin' eerie as shit_. _i dunno if i'm gonna be able to get used to livin' with this freaky clone wars crap._

"uh, sup?" Red asked, doing his best to ignore the prickle of sweat that had blossomed on the back of his skull as he descended the final steps. There was a beat of unusual silence among the group, one which _instantly_ had Red's _somethin's fuckin goin' on here_ alarm blaring. "what? i crash yer tea party, or somethin'?"

“nice to see ya, Red," G said cooly. Red couldn't tell—as per usual with that guy—if he was being sarcastic or not. G set down a box he'd been carrying, sitting on it before stretching his lengthy legs out. "now that we’re all here, should we talk about th’ elephant in the room?”

Sans shrugged casually, hands in his pockets as he nodded towards the machinery. “dunno how that’s r _elephant_ to the research. we should be focusing on the machine-”

Red huffed under his breath, shooting a leveled glare at Sans. “pretty eager to get us outta here, huh, asshole?”

Sans stared back, unaffected, his face neutral as ever as he tilted his skull in mock interest. “thought ya _wanted_ to get back home, Red?”

“WE _DO_ ,” Edge cemented, giving Red that _look_ that had Red instantly sweating. Red immediately cowed, rubbing the back of his skull.

“yeah, b-boss. but, uh, who knows how long that shit could take? in the _meantime_ -”

“IN THE MEANTIME, YOU’VE ALREADY SEEN HER,” Blackberry said, folding his arms. Red felt several stares turn on him, and his sweat doubled. Red didn’t know how the _fuck_ that anal twerp managed to figure shit out so well, but he figured there was little point in refuting Blackberry’s deductive skills.

“yeah? so what if i did? what’s it fuckin’ to ya, _berry_?”

Red ignored the warning look Mutt sent his way as Blackberry’s frown turned into a snarl. “YOU BEST WATCH YOUR TONE _AND_ YOUR LANGUAGE, YOU NEANDERTHAL-”

“I’d Like To Date Her,” came the murmur of an almost-quiet voice. Red _briefly_ glanced over—not _completely_ foolish enough to take his eyes off Blackberry for more than a split second—to see it was Green speaking. His twice-cracked face was hued in deep emerald as he cleared his throat. “AHEM. I HAVE BEEN GIVING IT A LOT OF THOUGHT, AND IF SHE’D... BE AGREEABLE TO THE NOTION, I’D LIKE TO THROW MY PROVERBIAL HAT INTO THE RING.” G, who was sitting more directly in Red’s line of sight, beamed warmly at his brother.

 _the fuck’s that about?_ Red thought, _why would g want more competition, ‘specially from his brother?_

“WOWZERS, THERE IS A RING? I, THE MAGNIFICENT SANS, WILL CHAMPION THIS RING! I’LL BE THE RING KING!”

Stretch closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath that wasn’t _quite_ a sigh. “‘course ya would, bro, but it’s not a race or competitio-”

“AND SURELY MY BROTHER AND I WOULD BE THE BEST IF THERE WAS!” Razz added, before looking at his brother. “RIGHT, SUGAR? WE HAVE THE MOST EXPERIENCE BY FAR!”

“we do, bro. though i think you’d be a better fit; i’m not exactly the monogamous type, and any offers of a one night stand'll be declined.”

“HOW WOULD _YOU_ KNOW THAT?” Blackberry asked, sockets widened, a mixture of aghastness and distaste on his face. Sugar simply shrugged.

“‘cause razz and i asked? it’s not that hard.” Sugar then considered his words, then grinned. “well, correction: it _was_ pretty hard, but-”

Red facepalmed as a chorus of groans cut Sugar off. _stars, kitten, how much trouble did ya get yerself into?_

“WHAT IS ALL THIS ARGUING FOR?” Papyrus asked, “OBVIOUSLY MANY OF YOU ARE VERSIONS OF MYSELF, WHICH MEANS THAT HALF OF YOU ARE THE VERY BEST, AND THE OTHER HALF THE SECOND VERY BEST! WE’LL JUST DO IT ALL TOGETHER!” 

Red noted how Sans’s brows raised, looking at his brother in surprise. Clearly they hadn’t spoken on the subject yet.

“bro, i dunno-”

“yeah? and why is that, asshole?” Red jumped in. He was so _sick_ of this dickbag being so sneaky all the time. It was clear he wanted you all to himself (well, maybe to him and his brother), and was trying to get the rest of them to leave as quickly as possible so _he_ could capitalize on your time. 

Sans turned to Red, the _slight_ narrowing of his sockets a sole tell of his hidden aggression.

“because you’re not _really_ supposed to be here, pal. ya might like her, but it’s not the same as with pap and i.”

The words doused the previously building fire in the room. Red’s ire felt similarly dampened at the shock of the words. 

He then looked to the faces of his and his brother’s alternate universe selves—similarly carved with a gut-punched look—before the spark in Red reignited, painting his vision in his namesake.

“ya don’t fuckin’ know that, ya smug fuckin’ prick! ya know as well as i do that we were _never_ supposed ta be able to have this. even if none of us know how the fuck this happened, if there’s one fuckin’ thing i know fer sure, it’s that kitten is **_my_ ** _fuckin’ s-”_

“ _ENOUGH_ , RED!” Edge said, yanking Red up by his hood. “SANS IS RIGHT—THIS DICKING AROUND ISN’T GETTING US ANY CLOSER TO GOING BACK HOME.”

Red struggled against his brother’s hold halfheartedly as he looked back at the sharp, unyielding familiar glare. For once, Red wasn’t afraid of it, confusion far outweighing any fear. _the fuck is wrong with ya, bro? ya seriously wanna go back ta that shithole? n’ do ya not seriously give a shit about kitten? ya seemed to be enjoyin’ yer time with her-_

Edge unceremoniously dropped Red, for once breaking the stare off _before_ Red cowed. Red looked up at his younger brother from the floor, brows furrowed. 

“boss-”

“YOU’RE ALL FUCKING USELESS!” Edge yelled, stomping up the stairs before exiting through the basement, slamming the solid wood behind him. Red cringed; it was a good thing they got that shit reinforced.  
  
"welp," Sans said casually, turning back to the machine. "now that we're all on _edge-_ " a series of groans resounded through the room "-no need for further e _lab_ oration. let's get this place set up."

As the rest of the group was set into motion (some small puns or grumbles in return), Red looked at the basement door, a frown set deeply on his features. 

_well... even if it's just a matter of time, yer still worth fightin' fer. i ain't gonna give up on ya that easily, doll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Link for the tl;dr recap of SPP events here!](https://skeletonprideparade.tumblr.com/post/633450119412482048/recap-for-spp)  
> 
> 
> _________
> 
> AAanddd we're back! Man, I literally never thought I'd get to this point of both being done with SPP *and* moving onto this project. For those that have stuck with me this long thank you so, so much. I hope a recap chapter wasn't too much of an odd way to start things off.
> 
> Additionally, as you can tell, I've moved away from doing hard POV cuts to more integrated POV switches. I think there are benefits and drawbacks to both, but I think this will work more for the flow of the story! 
> 
> I have so many wonderful, kind of weird things planned for you all. That being said, if you want anything in particular included in this follow up, please let me know! So far, some of the AU's that will be included (and skip down to the next paragraph if you don't want AU spoilers!) includes Horrortale, Mafiafell, Dancetale, and Farmtale. If there's any others you'd like included, please feel free to suggest it! I will do my absolute best to work them in there as long as it's possible with the storyline.
> 
> I'm gonna be doing something different with the comments! If you'd ever like to talk directly to a skele, comment them a question below, and I will do my absolute best to have them answer for you! c; If you guys are into it, I'll continue it as the chapters go on!
> 
> Thank you guys so, so much for being here. I look forward to this journey with you all by my side <3
> 
> _____________
> 
> Oh, one last thing, for those of us with a curious eye:  
> Readers’ engaging turns something average great, don’t we? Really expending time sussing answers gives details wisdom. Rather, everything told seems a guiding, divulged word. Repetition endlessly turns secrets acknowledged guaranteed, despite wearisomeness.  
> Understandably, overtly yelling secrets enough easily spoils. Regrettably, even this seems a good deal wordy.  
> Only later, less explicit hints.


	3. Gathering Data

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tests commence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for a section with bloodwork getting drawn, marked off by an asterisk. A summary of the section will be at the end for those unable to read.

By the time Friday hit, you were _exhausted_. Return from the vacation aside, it was like the world was hitting you with its hardest cases—people in crises, wildly intoxicated people, and this one _particularly_ entitled client. 

His name was Jack, and he was one of those clients that felt like a large knife hidden in a small paper bag—all plain, good natured small talk, with some poorly hidden threats underneath. The _content_ of his speech was pleasant enough—even a little funny, charming in a way—but he would do _everything_ he could to make you feel small and invaded as you chatted. He’d stand up and walk around the room before getting just a _tinge_ too close to you, touch the things on your desk that were closest to you, ask you more-personal-than-generally-polite questions instead of answering yours. He was a tall, stocky guy—not much older than you—and constantly redirected the focus of the conversation to how smaller you were compared to him.

Other than the challenging, worn-cloth-thin threats he’d sent your way, he spoke little throughout your assessment. That was no surprise there; his presence in your office was mandated by a federally-ordered substance use evaluation, and, understandably, no one liked to talk about their substance use when they knew the courts were going to have an eye in on their business _._ You didn’t _enjoy_ doing it—but you knew this was also an opportunity for him to get treatment instead of more jailtime.

You had three individual sessions personally with him, plus the two groups with other providers he was mandated to attend. As expected, he hardly participated or spoke during any of them, and by the time he showed up for the fifth day in a row, he had _technically_ completed everything he had to do for the evaluation—without saying much at all.

He probably thought that was a smart move. In reality, it just meant that you had to go by what everyone _else_ —including those that may or may not have his best interests at heart—said about him, as well as his history. _That_ did not paint a pretty picture.

From what you could glean, the threatening weight he’d been throwing around your office had been _earned_. He’d _already_ spent most of his life behind bars, and what free time he had was traded for detox spin-dries. That in of itself wouldn’t be a problem—but it seemed like he’d gotten kicked out of various detoxes for bringing drugs _in_ and trying to sell. 

Right now—by his claim, and as evidenced by his urine screens _(which you got the distinct feeling he was faking; they were unmonitored)—_ he was _technically_ clean. He’d clearly enrolled in some local pillmills to prescribe him a host of narcotics—which was still legal, so you couldn’t force him to detox for that.

That being said, Jack was clearly playing the system, using every loophole to keep his habit going. You bluntly told him such on the final day of your evaluation, along with your recommendation that he be referred to an intensive outpatient program.

He was _not_ happy, to say the least.

He threatened. He begged. He threatened some more. As always—despite the hot, uncomfortable sweat that came with confrontation—you stood your ground. You were, of course, seated just by the door in case he attempted to _physically_ attack you—but, as you stared back at his rage-twisted face, your voice was nothing but steady and cool as you spoke. 

“This is my determination, Jack, and that’s that.”

“We’ll see about that.”

He stood, and so did you. You opened the door and stepped out, motioning for him to leave as well—making sure to give a wide enough berth that it would be obvious if he were tried to step in for a swing at you. Thankfully, he didn’t, walking out instead to the exit. Other than slamming the door to the waiting room, there was no damage done.

_What a way to end off the week._

Thankfully, Jack had been your last appointment of the day, allowing yourself time both to write up the session as well as cool down from the confrontation. By the time four o’clock rolled around, you had successfully wrapped up everything you needed to do before the weekend.

As soon as you pulled into your driveway, you felt your phone buzz repeatedly in your pocket. You pulled it out.

 **The Magnificent Blueberry** : _My friend! Will we be seeing you tonight?_

 **The Magnificent Blueberry** : _We are all so very excited to see you again!_

You smiled to yourself, but thunked your head against the steering wheel. You didn’t want to disappoint Blue, but…

 **You:** _I’m so excited to see you guys too!!_

 **You:** _I won’t be able to come until tomorrow morning, though :( But I’ll head up first thing!_

 **You** **_:_ ** _Hopefully traffic won’t be too bad and I’ll make it up there quick. I’ll let you know when I leave!_

As much as you legitimately wanted to see them all again, you needed at least a night to recharge, shower, and just… do nothing for a bit. Although it was tempting to just indulge in some friend time immediately, you knew it was probably for the best to section off a corner of _you_ time.

Your phone buzzed again, just as you were getting out of your car. 

**The Magnificent Blueberry:** _We look forward to seeing you soon!!! Rest up well :)_

Smiling to yourself, you typed out a small closing to the conversation before heading up the stairs to your house. _See? No reason to feel badly. It’s okay to take some time for yourself._

You did just that; after getting some much-needed chores done, you set your butt onto the couch, cat on your lap and switch in your hands. Grace and you had a nice, quiet night, chatting a little about work before binge watching some true crime show she was into.

By the time you rolled into bed—admittedly at an hour so early it would’ve given your grandparents a run for their _early to bed_ championship money—you felt fully content and at ease. After answering some texts, you closed your increasingly heavy eyelids and let yourself go into sleep.

If you dreamt that night[,](https://youtu.be/HCN1jkxRdTE) you couldn’t remember it.

You awoke early Saturday morning, feeling decently well-rested. Although the workweek clung to you like a hangover, the excitement of the day was enough to shake it off as you got up and ready. 

Admittedly, the whole situation was a _little_ nervewracking—you didn’t know what “helping out” exactly meant—but you’d be lying if you weren’t incredibly curious. Most of your nights in the past week had been spent watching various TEDtalks and video essays on quantum theories, and you didn’t understand more than the most basic of fundamentals—but the fact that you had firsthand evidence of it being _real_ lit a hunger within you to want to understand.

It helped distract from the idea that you’d be returning to an house that contained _three_ people you made out with. If you dared let that thought stray in, you got all blushy—and blushiness got in the way of proper science! 

Late at night, you _had_ attempted to gauge what you wanted to do… and came up without a clue as to what your heart was telling you. But maybe that in of itself was an answer; if you had no obvious want, maybe it was best to sit on it. Who knows? _They_ could just as easily not want to pick things up where they had left off; other than the standard flirting from Red—which seemed more like his default setting, rather than intentional—they hadn’t mentioned it.

Best to take the true hero’s course and ignore the problem for now.

You shed thoughts of romance and science alike as you headed out the door, focusing instead on the much-higher priority breakfast and coffee you were treating yourself to. You scarfed it down on the way there, taking bites as you listened to one of your favorite podcasts—the one about a woman who took a road trip to try to find her missing wife—while cruising along with the minimal traffic. 

Luck had been on your side; normally, the summer beach traffic would have turned the trip at _least_ three times longer than necessary—but the weather had called for rain later on, so you’d been spared. Next weekend (if you decided to come back, that is) you might not be so fortunate. 

You pulled up to the house, parking in the long driveway that led up to the place. You’d only been here once, and arrived while drunk and in the dark. It looked just about the same as you left it (albeit a bit less wobbly)—large, pristine, and slightly cold architecture, with well-trimmed hedges out front.

Taking a deep breath, you got out of the car, walked up to the front door, and knocked.

The door swung open after a moment to reveal Sugar standing there. He was leaning on the doorframe with an elbow crooked above his head, looking at you with such a cat-like grin that you couldn’t see it as anything other than purposefully comical. “why hello there, cutie. i’m surprised you actually chose to return to this den of debauchery.”

You snorted, trying to stifle down a full-on laugh before placing a hand on your hip. “Oh, how could I resist with such handsome skeletons answering the door? It already feels like it was worth the trip.” 

The compliment earned you a soft chuckle from him, and he reached forward, gingerly taking your hand and placing it to his teeth.

“certainly is from my perspective.”

He then stepped back enough to let you inside, leading you in by the hand _._ You found yourself more amused than flustered; Sugar definitely was a charmer _._

Once in, you took a moment to survey the place—they had done _quite_ a number on the pristine mansion. It hardly looked like the same cold, barren, stylish place that you had seen the last time you’d been here—in the large entryway alone, a mishmash of decorations, décor, and differently-styled furniture sat among boxes and boxes of things yet unpacked. You could only begin to imagine the forty fits Edge must be having. 

Doing your best not to stare at the obvious disarray, you turned back to your host, letting your smile melt into something more sincere. “Man, I know it’s just been a week, but it’s nice to see you. How’ve you been with all the craziness of this move?”

To your surprise, the ever-present hue on Sugar’s face brightened slightly, and he actually seemed a tad out-of-sorts at your question, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“aw, that’s sweet of you to say, cutie. razz and i have been doing fine—only keeping the trouble to a minimum.”

“ _Sugar-_ y sweet,” you amended, grinning. Just as you went to say something else, you felt yourself be picked up bodily.

“HUMAN! JUST ONE STEP INTO THIS PLACE, AND YOU’RE ALREADY FALLING ILL WITH PUNS!” You were in the secure grasp of Papyrus as he held you what felt like _several_ feet above the ground, holding you at arm’s length like a concerned owner inspecting their cat. There was a dramatic look of worry across his face. “THERE ARE SO MANY VERSIONS OF MY BROTHER HERE, I’M NOT SURE EVEN A SKELETON AS COOL AND HANDSOME AS I CAN SAVE YOU FROM SUCH A FATE!”

You laughed—partly because he was holding you up by your armpits, and you were ticklish, partly at the sentiment—and shook your head. “I’m—haha—afraid that’s a pre-existing condition. And please, I’m ticklish!”

“OH! SORRY, I FORGET MY NIMBLE HANDS SOMETIMES.” Pap gingerly put you down, and you used his slightly-bent position to wrap him up in a hug once his hands were free from their hold on you. He hugged you back warmly—and gosh, for someone so boney, he was a good hugger.

“hey, if you’re passing out hugs~” Sugar purred. Before you could remark, out of your peripheral you saw the long arm of Papyrus reach out and sweep Sugar in.

“THE MORE THE MERRIER, MY SCANTILY CLAD FELLOW!”

Sugar stuttered out equal notes protest and confusion, but was no match for the unyielding hug power of Papyrus. After a moment, he gave in—and Papyrus only released the two of you when he deemed you both thoroughly hugged.

“NOW, I SHALL GO ALERT EVERYONE OF YOUR ARRIVAL! FEEL FREE TO MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.” He gestured to the couch—which was currently overloaded with boxes—before giving you a totally subtle audible wink. “AFTER ALL, WE ALREADY OFFERED TO MAKE THIS YOUR HOME LAST WEEK! NYEHEHEH!”

With that, he waved a flourished goodbye before jauntily walking out of the room. Sugar and you both shared a moment of silence as you watched his exit.

“Well,” you said. “Glad to see the move hadn’t dampened his spirits. I guess while we wait we can hang out, get to know one another-“

-You looked back, then all around you. Sugar was gone.

“Aaand now I’m on my own. Okay.” You surveyed the empty place, deciding to head into the living room with a bit of uncertainty. Despite Papyrus’s words, you felt a _bit_ like you were trespassing, and your steps were ginger and careful as you walked into the room. There were several new couches, overstuffed armchairs, and beanbag chairs added in, most of which had boxes on or around them. 

Maybe this testing should’ve waited until they were more settled in. Just how long did they expect to be here for, anyway? 

Deciding you didn’t want to risk breaking anything, you chose one of the sole options that had no box on it—a large, deep purple beanbag chair. You ungracefully plopped yourself down into it, glad to be able to casually stretch out your legs after the lengthy drive.

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. Even with the disarray around you, the large windows in the living room were letting in soft, gentle streams of light, making everything feel peaceful and cozy. Man, it was barely midmorning, and you were already ready for a nap-

You suddenly felt something press on your lap, jolting you out of your sleepy daze. Eyes snapping open, you looked down-

_CAT IT’S A CAT CAT CAT!_

“Doomfanger!” you gasped, every bit of your self control and preservation being sent to your arms to stop you from wrapping the cat up in a big hug. Doomfanger paid your outburst no mind, clearly sensing that he was the far dominant creature, casually walking onto your lap and curling up. He placed his large paws over your arm, closing his bright eyes peacefully. 

You attempted to adjust your arm—and his sharp claws immediately curled against your skin, as if warning you not to move. You were clearly nothing but a piece of furniture to him, and pieces of furniture did not move. You stayed still. You were, once again, blessed.

Content to sit under your new fluffy lord and master, you leaned your head back against the beanbag chair, ready for a shared catnap-

“DOOMFANGER!”

The shrill voice startled you, causing you to jump for a second time—this time leading to a slice of pain as Doomfanger made good on his warning. You sucked in a sharp breath, and checked—yep, he’d drawn blood.

“AH, DOOMFANGER, I SEE YOU HAVE CAUGHT AN INTRUDER—OH. IT’S YOU.”

You looked over, and Edge was standing there, hand on his hipbone. You smiled up at him, attempting not to grimace with the stinging pain.

“Heya, boss. As always, Doomfanger is the perfect guard cat. As much as I hate to ask, could you get him off me?”

“OF COURSE HE IS! BUT I THOUGHT YOU LIKED—OH.” He must have spotted the blood as it trailed down your arm. He waved his hand at Doomfanger—and, to your surprise, the cat actually got up and moved away from you. Edge then gracefully folded himself down to one knee, getting on your level as he removed a glove from his hand. He then reached out, hovering his hand just above your arm. You felt a trickle of warmth— _almost_ like body heat, but with a buzzing, tingling effect. A moment later, and the pain had gone away, the small bit of bloodflow had stopped, and your wound had already begun to scab over.

“Holy shit, boss! Did you just heal me? That’s amazing!”

“OF COURSE! MANY OF MY FOOLISH ENEMIES ASSUME I AM NOT GOOD AT HEALING MAGIC, AS IT IS THE DIRECT CONTRAST OF MY NATURAL MAGIC—BUT THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS HAS BECOME A MASTER OF ALL THAT ATTEMPTS TO OPPOSE HIM!”

“Man, that’s impressive. I bet it was a useful skill to have back home, and I’m sure as shit glad you had it here. Thanks for helping me out!”

Edge looked at you for a moment, then down to the floor at his position, as if realizing where he was. He then abruptly stood, this time much less fluidly. “I AM NOT TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU! THOUGH ALL SHOULD BE IMPRESSED BY MY SKILL! I... WAS TRYING TO KEEP YOUR THOUGHTLESSNESS FROM CAUSING BLOOD TO STAIN MY FLOORS. TAKE CARE NOT TO HAVE THAT HAPPEN AGAIN.”

“Uh, sure?” you said, slightly confused by the abrupt change in demeanor. Edge was refusing to look at you, and before you could inquire as to why, he abruptly stalked out of the room. 

You attempted to navigate your way out of the beanbag, but it took you a few tries to get up. On your third attempt, a skeletal hand stuck out to you. Looking up, you saw Mutt was offering his assistance. 

“Woof, thanks, Mutt,” you said, accepting it gratefully. He hoisted you up, freeing you from your beany prison. “I’m pretty sure I would’ve got sucked in for good if you didn’t come along.”

“no problem, pet. old bertha the beanbag has swallowed up those big and small alike, so i’m glad i could come by before she gotcha. you ready for today?”

“As ready as I can be,” you affirmed. Despite Mutt’s warning, he plopped down in Bertha, splaying out lazily. You smiled fondly at him, hitting his foot with yours. “What about you? When I went to bed last night, I saw you were online, and you were online when I got up. Still trying to beat my _Snail Race XTreme_ score?”

You and Mutt had a few games here and there you shared in common—and Tuesday night you’d decided to go toe-to-toe with him. He’d… beaten you at _most_ of them, but you held your sole championship over him on the mobile game proudly.

“i’d like to say you’re hacking, but i’m pretty sure i’d know if you were,” Mutt huffed. He then ran a hand over his face wearily, eyes closed. “but nah. just making sure everything’s a go for today. triple checking equipment, that kind of stuff”

“Oh,” you said. You… really had no idea how much work was going into this, so you didn’t quite know what to say. “Well, uh, I hope you can get some sleep tonight. If I’m going to kick your ass in games, I want it to be a fair fight.” 

Mutt hummed in agreement. The poor fellow looked utterly _exhausted._ You stuck your hands in your pockets, nudging his foot with yours again. “Speaking of which, we still on for our rematch next Tuesday? If you need some time to catch up on sleep, we can always delay-”

“nah,” he replied instantly, eyes snapping open. “not gonna weasel your way out of this one, pet. next tuesday, repeat whoopin’.”

You laughed, shaking your head, knowing he was probably right—but not wanting to admit it. “Yeah, yeah, just you wait. It’s a date!” 

You expected him to laugh—you were half-hoping to get that hilarious little _snyehrt_ out of him—but instead, his cheeks flushed, and he looked up at you.

“a date, huh?”

A reflexive blush started on your face. You… didn’t know what to say to that, either. 

Thankfully, you were saved as Blueberry trounced into the living room. “HUMAN! IT’S SO NICE TO SEE YOU! THIS WEEK TOOK FOREVER TO GO BY!”

“Aw, heya, Blue!” you greeted back. Either your coffee was kicking in, or Blueberry’s enthusiasm was downright infectious. “It’s great to see you too! And I know what you mean; I’m so glad it’s the weekend, finally.”

“ARE YOU READY FOR THE TESTS? WE’RE JUST ABOUT FINISHED DOWNSTAIRS! I’VE NEVER SEEN EVERYONE SO PRODUCTIVE BEFORE. EVEN PAPY HAS BEEN WORKING HARD!”

“Wowza, that’s impressive,” you said, attempting to put some enthusiasm in your voice, though failed, the tones falling slightly flat. 

_They all… must be really eager to get home, huh?_

Blueberry noticed, his brow furrowing for a moment, before a look of realization dawned. He then took your hand in his. “NO NEED TO BE NERVOUS! THIS IS JUST A BASELINE TEST TODAY. THERE’S NO FAILING OR PASSING—BUT, EVEN IF THERE WAS, I’M SURE YOU’D PASS WITH FLYING COLORS!”

Although that wasn’t _really_ what you were worried about, you felt your heart warm nonetheless, helping wash away some of the sadness. “Thanks, Blue! It’s nice to have someone believing in me, even if I’m not being graded.” This time you did a better job at putting some feeling behind your voice; even if you were sad at the potential loss of these new friends, you weren’t selfish enough to kill Blueberry’s excitement if you could help it. “Should we get started?”

“LET’S!” Blueberry cheered, successfully convinced. “AND THEN LATER WE HAVE A SURPRISE-”

“blue,” Mutt called from the floor, a gentle warning in his tone. 

“-O-OF WHICH I DEFINITELY DID NOT JUST SPOIL BY MENTIONING IT. “

“Not at all,” you agreed, laughing. He still had your hand in his hold, so you gave it an assuring squeeze before dropping it. “You’re just giving me a chance to build up anticipation, yeah? How very cunning of you, good sir.”

“OH, YES! I’M GLAD YOU COULD SEE THE VALUE OF MY PLAN, MAIDEN.”

You snickered at the nickname, brow raising. “Of course, sir knight Blueberry. Shall we depart?”

It was hard to tell if it was a trick of the light, but his eyelights seemed to sparkle for a moment. “W-WE SHALL! ARE YOU COMING, SIR MUTT?”

Mutt snorted, eyes closed once again. “i’ll meet you guys down there. don’t wanna move this second.”

Blueberry let out a “tch,” looking ready to chide Mutt, but you cut in, hooking your elbow with Blueberry’s to distract him. If Mutt wanted to rest, you’d let him rest.

“See you down there, Mutt. Just don’t sleep too long; I’m gonna need you as morale support!” 

You waved goodbye to him, despite his eyes being closed, and moved along with Blueberry. The excitable skeleton chattered as he led you out of the living room and down a hallway. At the end sat a formidable looking door. 

Blueberry swung the door open—and inside was a closet. There were boxes, some shelving, and a broom. Although it was fairly large, it was definitely not a lab, like you were expecting.

“Uh?” you hazarded. Blueberry perked. 

“OH! RIGHT! MAIDEN, PLEASE CLOSE YOUR EYES. IT’S A SECRET ENTRANCE!”

“Really? That’s… honestly kind of incredible. Alright, eyes are closed.”

You shut your eyes, fully resisting all urge to peek. It was a _little_ odd to have you not know the way in, but you supposed the less you knew, in general, the safer. Blueberry took your hand again, leading you forward. You heard the door shut behind you, then some kind of solid thunk, and a door opening—then Blueberry pulled you forward.

“CAREFUL, PLEASE. WE’RE GOING TO BE GOING DOWN SOME STEPS. NO PEEKING!”

“Alright. I’m trusting you not to let me break my neck here, Sir Blueberry.”

“NEVER, MAIDEN! YOUR KNIGHT IN SHINING BATTLE BODY ARMOR WILL GET YOU THERE, SAFE AND SOUND!” 

True to his word, he carefully led you down the steps. It felt like some kind of spiral staircase—you were constantly turning clockwise, and it felt like it went on _forever_. You were a little worried that Blueberry, in his excitable nature, would get distracted from the task—but he was utterly silent as you descended, his careful guidance never faltering or changing pace.

Eventually, finally, Blueberry took both of your hands in his as you descended the final step.

“AND THERE WE ARE, SAFE AND SOUND. PLEASE JUST KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED A LITTLE LONGER, MAIDEN.”

A sort of odd beeping noise sounded out, and after a moment or so, you heard another door open. Blueberry led you inside again, walking a bit of distance before pausing.

“JOURNEY COMPLETE! YOU MAY OPEN YOUR EYES NOW, MAIDEN.”

Stark light had you squinting the moment you opened your eyes. Once adjusted, you found it wasn’t actually that bright—but the walls and floors around you were pure white, almost looking hospital-like. The room you were standing in was surprisingly large, with little decoration or modulation—off to the far end was a doorway, and some sort of booth with tinted windows. With the glare of the lights above, it was _almost_ impossible to see inside, but you could vaguely make out some skeleton-shaped figures as they moved behind the glass.

Blueberry began to walk in that direction, his steps echoing out coldly among the massive room. You quickly followed along, sticking close by.

“NO NEED TO BE NERVOUS, MAIDEN. NOTHING BAD HAS EVER HAPPENED DOWN HERE BEFORE!”

“... How long has this place been down here?”

“...MWHEHEH, LOOK, HERE WE ARE AT THE CONTROL BOOTH!”

Stepping into the open doorway, you saw… _everyone_ standing or sitting around, fiddling with equipment or simply chatting. The room was long and rectangular, packed on both sides with various panels an machinery, creating a narrow space for movement. It was also dark, and cool—you could hear some sort of fan system going at full blast, likely for the equipment. It seemed like everyone was already here and accounted for; even Mutt was there, curled up on Bertha in the corner. 

“took ya long enough,” he muttered. As soon as he spoke, everyone stopped what they were doing, turning to look at you.

“Uh hey guys,” you greeted. Several of them were wearing lab coats—including Sans, who was walking up to greet you back with a clipboard in his hands—and was _wearing the geekiest pair of glasses ever oh my god._

Before you realized it, you were already in front of Sans, taking hold of his skull, letting out a high-pitched scream as you tilted his skull back and forth. He had used _tape_ to secure the thick-rimmed glasses to his skull. “You are so fucking cute, holy _shit_.” 

A deep blue hue bloomed underneath his lenses, his sockets widening as he stared back at you, his hands rising to meet yours on his face. After a clear moment of startle, his sockets crinkled with a grin. “heheh, hi to you too, kid. glad to see ya like the getup so much.”

You released him, feeling slightly abashed at the strength of your reaction, muttering an apology before abruptly changing the subject. “This whole place is amazing, guys, jeeze! This was obviously a lot of work; I hope you guys are proud.”

“THEY CAN BE PROUD WHEN THEY’VE GOTTEN RESULTS,” Edge said. He was standing off to the side of the room, arms folded defiantly as he leaned against the wall. You pursed your lips slightly, biting back an argumentative response. 

Instead, you decided to go positive, ignoring Edge’s statement. “Well, I’m certainly proud of you all. On that note, if you guys are ready, why don’t we get started? What would you guys like me to do?”

“we’re just gonna do one encounter, nothing crazy,” Stretch said behind a yawn. He was currently typing away at some interface on a keyboard. “shouldn’t take more than a few minutes, but the data we’ll get will have to compile all night. if it finishes by tomorrow, we might be able to squeeze in a second test, but i don’t wanna overclock what we’ve got if we don’t have to. we’ll play it safe today and see what happens.”

“it _should_ handle it fine,” G added, though more to Stretch than you, leaning over the screen next to him. He was rolling up the sleeves of his labcoat as he pointed at the screen. “here. mutt ‘n i stress tested the hell out of it during the five thirteen run, so it’s looking good…”

As G continued his explanation, the sheer weirdness of the moment hit you.

These guys… were really fucking smart. They did fucking _interdimensional travel_. They had their own separate lives—as researchers, musicians, lawyers—and _also_ had a level of scientific understanding and invention that was beyond human comprehension. They’d put into practice far beyond what human scientists dared to _theorize_ of.

How the _hell_ had you ended up here?

“FEELING OKAY?” came the voice of Razz to your left. You smiled warmly—albeit a bit weakly—at him. 

“Yeah, Razz, I’m alright, thanks. I’ve vaguely heard of encounters before. I can’t, like, mess it up, yeah?” 

Since it was illegal for monsters to use any kind of magic, rumors of encounters were wildly speculative—you had a vague idea that it involved someone’s SOUL, but not much else besides that. Even a few years out, the government was still pretty tight-lipped about what was factual for monsters; each new bit of information seemed to cause some sort of controversy. You’d heard everything from the probable (a form of communication with magic), to the weird (the way monsters bone down) to the blatantly stupid (that it involved video game-like menus and stats). 

“OF COURSE NOT!” Razz said, waving your concern off easily. “IT’S JUST A WAY TO COMMUNICATE. AND YOU’LL BE DOING IT WITH A VERSION OF ME, WHICH MEANS YOU’RE GUARANTEED SUCCESS!”

“Oh?” you asked, looking at the various Papyri in the room. “Who?”

“IT WILL BE I!” the Papyrus of your universe announced from across the room, hands on his hips. “I AM ESPECIALLY GOOD AT CONTROLLING THE STRENGTH OF MY ATTACKS, SO I WAS THE OBVIOUS VERY BEST CHOICE!”

_Attacks…?_

“HEY!” Blueberry pouted, “I’M GOOD AT CONTROL TOO, BUT YOU ALL WERE TOO WORRIED ABOUT HAVING IT BE SOMEONE FROM THE SAME UNIVERSE-”

“NO WORRIES, MY TINY FRIEND! I’M SURE YOU’LL BE THE VERY FIRST CHOICE FOR THE ALTERNATE-UNIVERSE TEST!”

Despite Blueberry’s lament, he and Papyrus chatted good naturedly as Red approached you. Red looked about as exhausted as the rest of them—but also _especially_ on edge. He was barely looking at you as he approached, his shoulders tight and grin looking strained. His lab coat was crumpled, and had what looked like mustard and ink stains on it.

“heya, doll. mind if we get a set of vitals n’ such on ya? shouldn’t take more than a hot sec.”

“Sure thing.”

He led you through the group of skeletons to a doorway in the back. To your surprise, this opened up to a long hallway—stretching for leagues onwards, doors placed intermittently throughout.

_Just how big is this place..?_

You unfortunately didn’t get to linger, as Red turned into the first doorway. Sans was already in there, typing away at a laptop. The room was outfitted like a clinic: in it sat a large metal cabinet, exam table, desk, sink, and what you immediately recognized as a plush plastic phlebotomy recliner. 

Your heart began to pound.

“Uh, haha, wow, you guys really got everything set up, huh?”

“yeah,” Sans said conversationally, though it was clear he was more focused on whatever he was working on, his eyes glued to the screen as he typed. “had a hell of a time getting the equipment last second, but it seems like it’s all coming together in the nick of time.”

_Great._

“take a seat, doll, and i’ll get yer vitals started.”

Red gestured to the recliner, and you did your best to take slow, calming breaths. _It’s just vitals. It’s fine._

Red opened the cabinet, taking out a stethoscope and cuff as well as a small plastic object. You recognized this device, too: a pulse oximeter. Red moved over to you, slipping the pulse ox onto your finger before wrapping the cuff around your arm. He then put the ear tips of the stethoscope to the small breaks in his skull where the ear cavities were. 

The sight was such a mismatch of how you perceived Red, it felt like he was playing dress up; it helped abate your anxiety, just a smidge.

As Red began to pump up the cuff, sliding the drum of the stethoscope slightly underneath, Sans wheeled over to the cabinet and grabbed a second stethoscope. He then wheeled over to you, giving a tired smile as he lifted your hand, looking over the pulse ox.

“your oxygen looks good, but i’d like to double check your lungs to be double-certain. deep breath.”

Sans placed the flat of the drum against the skin of your chest, and you flinched slightly at the cold of the metal before complying with deep breaths. More pressing on your attention, though, was the abrupt realization that you were _sitting between two of the three doubles you made out with oh fucking hell-_

“yer blood pressure is a bit high, doll. try to relax a sec and we’ll try again.”

You nodded, still taking deep breaths for Sans as you tried to chill out. _It’s fine. They clearly aren’t even thinking about it, so why are you? Just focus on the task at hand-_

G then entered, wheeling a cart in. 

_OH GREAT FANTASTIC THE GANG’S ALL HERE LETS JUST MAKE IT A PARTY-_

Your cringing panic was immediately derailed and set on a _new_ track when you saw _what_ G was wheeling in.

*“Nahnopesorry,” you said, leaning back from Sans and tearing the blood pressure cuff off. “You guys just said vitals, nothing about bloodwork. I need like advance notice, I am _not_ emotionally prepared for this-“ 

“woah, kid, slow down,” Sans said, pulling down the stethoscope. "ya don’t gotta do anything ya don’t want to. we’ll work around whatever. just let us know what’s a no-go and it’s ixnayed.”

You took a few breaths, attempting to resist the panicked scramble your mind was trying to escalate you to. “Do you promise?”

“promise.”

You took another deep breath. _Okay. Okay. You don’t have to do it. They’re just running baseline tests, yeah? They’re just getting all the information they can._

_If… if I’m here to help, I… guess I should try. But if it gets overwhelming, then I’ll stop it._

Your eyes—that had been staring off at the blank wall ahead—then turned to G. 

“You’d be the one taking it?”

He nodded, his expression calm, patient. 

_How and why the hell does he know how to take blood?_

“... Do you _swear_ you know what you’re doing with that thing? I’m not an easy stick.”

“cross my heart and stick a needle in my workin’ eye, darlin’. i wouldn’t try unless i was sure.”

You stared at him a prolonged beat, warring within yourself. Red then spoke up.

“trust me, doll. he’s a _prick_ , and good at it.”

“ _red-”_ Sans sighed, but you cut him off.

“Alright, alright, I’ll do it. Just… _do not_ show me the needle, or I _will_ pass out.”

“done deal. i’m gonna prep, then tell y’ when to look away. y’ can stop me at any time.”

“Okay,” you said, doing your best to relax. "I’m trusting you guys.”

Sans stood up so G could use the chair, and G wheeled himself over to you. You’d been through these motions a hundred times—and, to G’s credit, he followed the steps perfectly, binding up your arm and guiding you to make a fist as he splayed out your limb. After a bit of checking one arm, he then switched sides to the other.

With little where else to look, you focused on his face as his gloved hands tapped at the inner crook of your elbow, his expression intently focused as he searched for a good mark. As always, you felt yourself shivering, ever so gently—but, unlike the past, you really _did_ trust G.

He then looked up from your arm, his sole eyelight striking you directly as he smiled, his gaze a mix of confidence and tenderness. “got th’ perfect one, right here, darlin’. it’s practically singin’ out t’ me. y’ ready?”

“Y-yeah,” you said, looking away. Red, who was standing by your side still, became your unwitting support as you grabbed at his hand, squeezing it tight.

Red thankfully allowed this, seeming to not mind being your living stress ball. “ya got this, kitten. yer doin’ great.”

You focused on taking deep, even breaths as G began to clean the site. Man, was it just you, or was it getting dizzy in here?

“hey, what do you give to a sick lemon?”

You opened your eyes—you hadn't even realized you shut them—and saw Sans standing across from you, his grin relaxed, arms folded.

“What? Sans-”

“ _lemon-aid._ why did the mattress go to the doctor?”

“Sans, I don’t-”

“ _spring fever._ why did the bucket go to the doctor?”

“Sa-”

“it had a _pail face._ why did the robot go to the doctor?”

“These are the _worst_ -”

“it had a _virus._ why did the witch go to the doctor?”

“Haha, Sans, Jesus-”

“she had a _dizzy spell._ why did the banana go to the doctor?”

“Sans, don’t make me laugh-” 

“he wasn’t _peeling_ well. why did-”

“-and we’re done. good job, darlin’.” G was wheeling away from you, throwing the needle in a sharps container before coming back with a bandaid. It had rocket ships on it. You looked over, and indeed, several tubes were filled off to the side.

You looked back to Sans.

_That sneaky, wonderful jerk._

*He winked at you, before storing his stethoscope and heading out of the room, G following shortly behind. 

“uh, doll-”

You looked over to Red, then realized you still had a death grip on his hand. You quickly let go.

“Shit! Sorry. Thank you. I know I was being a big baby-“

“nah, kitten, we all got our shit,” Red brushed off, flexing his hand. “i’m just glad it was my left hand ya crushed, not rightie-“

“Pffthaha, _Red!_ ”

“heheh, c’mon, let’s see if we can get a better blood pressure now, then we’ll get ya out there to the test.”

You nodded your assent, blowing out a deep breath. “Alright. Feel free to take your time; I’m in no rush to get out there.”

Red stole the wheelie stool, sitting down as he wrapped the cuff back around your arm, and put the stethoscope back on. “ya nervous about the test, dollface?”

You watched as he puffed the cuff back up, trying to stay as at-ease as possible. “A little bit; I’m trying not to think about it, though.”

Red’s eyes flickered to you briefly before he focused on the task at hand, listening intently as the cuff slowly began to deflate. After a few moments, he released the pressure fully and tugged the scope’s earpieces off. 

“still a little high, but I think that’s just yer anxiety.” He then undid the cuff fully, his grin turning sly before he gave you a wink. “hey, doll, i know a way ta take yer mind off of things-”

You breathed out a chuckle, shaking your head. “ _Red._ ”

He winked at you, that smile only sharpening. “what? i’m just sayin’, the last time we were in a lab together…”

This time you full-on laughed, rubbing your face wearily as your cheek heated under your touch. “Hahaha, shut your mouth or I’m gonna shut it for you.”

“yeah?” His voice had abruptly shifted down into a lower octave, the words now more challenge than joke. His expression, too, seemed more serious—eyelights intently on you as he leaned slightly closer in. “n’ how’re ya gonna do that?” 

You felt your face instantly heat, slightly thrown by the shift—and, good lord, that voice. “By, uh, wrapping that blood pressure cuff around your head.”

“kinky.” 

You snorted out a laugh, the tension in your chest instantly dissolving. “Perv. C’mon, let’s get this show on the road.”

You ducked around his leaned-in position, sliding off the chair and standing upright. _Dang, he had me going there for a second._

“you go ahead, doll, i gotta log yer vitals. i’ll be right behind ya in a hot sec.”

“Feel free to enjoy the view,” you joked, exiting the room with a wave.

Red waved back, huffing out a laugh as he watched you go. With a kick, he propelled himself over to the laptop Sans had left, clicking through the interface that held your chart. Once the vitals were input, he shut the screen, grabbed the laptop, and stood-

Only to near-immediately drop the thing when he saw Sans standing there.

“stars, asshole, make some noise next time-”

“what happened the last time ya were in a lab together?” 

Red was struck for a second, before his sockets narrowed, his grin curling. “what’s it to ya, asshole?”

Sans closed his sockets, taking a deep breath. Red’s hand twitched—ever at the ready—but, instead of launching an attack, Sans simply opened his sockets.

“i have a feeling today’s gonna be a rough day for ya, pal. no hard feelings.”

Red opened his mouth to say something—but, in the next instant, Sans was gone.

_what crawled up his coccyx?_

As soon as you got back into the booth, you were greeted by Blackberry, who was standing in a formal “at ease” posture by the door’s entrance, arms folded behind his rod-straight back. He nodded at you as you stepped inside.

“HUMAN, ARE YOU THOROUGHLY PREPARED?”

“No…?” you hazarded. _How does one even prepare for this?_ “But I’m ready to start nonetheless, if that’s what you mean?”

“QUITE,” Blackberry said with a bare nod. “FOLLOW ME, PLEASE.”

You complied, trailing behind him as you weaved your way through the group, trying not to think about how much it felt like a funeral military march. 

Papyrus was already standing out in the large area you’d first entered in, stretching his… _Wait, he doesn’t have muscles. What exactly is he stretching?_

Walking closer, you saw he was standing in a space squared off by duct tape. About fifteen or so feet directly across from him sat another, empty square—and, without surprise, Blackberry led you there, motioning for you to stand within.

Once you stood inside, Blackberry presented an open hand to you. 

“PLEASE ENSURE THAT EVERYTHING IS FREE FROM YOUR PERSON BEFORE YOU BEGIN.”

You stared at him for a moment, translating into normal-person speech for a beat, before fishing through your pockets. Your left pocket came up with a few coins left over from the toll on the way over, which you placed in his hand—and, in the right back pocket, your cell phone. 

At this, you hesitated, just for a beat. Your cell phone always represented a type of lifeline, a safety net—an unconscious comfort.

Did you trust them enough to be without it?

_I suppose… if they wanted to off me, they would’ve done so already. They’re trusting me with so much—I guess the least I can do is trust them back._

You looked at Blackberry, who was patiently waiting, and placed the cell phone in his hand. You then smiled at him.

“I’m trusting you, Blackberry. I better not see one scratch on this.” You were mostly joking, but he nodded seriously.

“I ASSURE YOU, YOUR PHONE IS NOW THE SAFEST IT HAS EVER BEEN.” He stiffly slid it into his jacket pocket, and came out with something else in return, offering it to you. Taking it, it wasn’t too dissimilar from the phone you had just given him—a tiny, black, rectangular device with a screen. “PLACE IT IN YOUR POCKET. WE WILL FOLLOW WITH INSTRUCTIONS SHORTLY.” 

You did as instructed, heaving a deep breath as you did so, starting to feel some jitters. You then looked back up to Blackberry, giving a nervous smile. “Alright, it’s securely in place. Wish me luck?”

“YOU DO NOT NEED IT,” Blackberry said with certainty, his gaze evenly trained on you. “WE WOULD NOT ALLOW YOU TO BE IN A POSITION WHERE THAT WAS THE CASE. YOU WILL PERFORM TO EXPECTATION.”

Although you weren’t quite certain if that was a command or an assurance—you got the feeling that Blackberry was, in his own way, trying to be supportive. You felt your smile warm, amused at his poorly disguised sweetness. “Thanks, M’lord. See you on the other side.”

He nodded to you, turning about face before walking off. You turned to Papyrus, who waved at you enthusiastically. 

“ARE YOU READY, HUMAN? IT IS TIME FOR YOUR VERY FIRST ENCOUNTER—WITH THE LEGENDARY PAPYRUS, NO LESS! IT MUST BE A GREAT HONOR.”

You rubbed your arm nervously, but did your best to give Pap a true smile as you attempted to ready yourself. “A very great honor indeed, Pap. How, uh, do we begin?”

A static sound rang out in the large room around you, before you heard Sans’s voice come through. You spotted a speaker not too far away on a wall.

“alright, scan’s up and running. go ahead, pap.” 

You weren’t sure _exactly_ what you were expecting—but it wasn’t the sudden flip from light to utter, pitch-black darkness. You went to scream reflexively—but it felt like your breath was cut short as you felt _something_ be urged from your chest-

And out popped a large, glowing heart, hovering just in front of your face.

_Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck-_

You weren’t able to focus on it long, however, as it lowered down to chest height, and an odd menu popped up before you— _and what the fuck the video game part was true what the everloving hell._

The sole other thing in your vision was an illuminated, black-and white vision of Papyrus directly in front of you. As much as you tried to focus on anything else in the room—the booth, the door behind you, _anything_ —there was only Papyrus. Oddly enough, the _feeling_ of Papyrus grew much stronger—whether it was the lack of external focus or something else, it felt like you were truly _experiencing_ Papyrus in his full state.

*You encountered Papyrus.

“What the _fuck_ ,” you whispered in awe.

“HUMAN!” Papyrus said. Not only did you hear his voice—but the words physically appeared before you. You had… _so many questions._ “NO DOUBT YOU HAVE SEEN YOUR SOUL BY NOW. YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GUIDE IT TO THE CHOICES YOU WOULD LIKE TO MAKE DURING OUR FATED ENCOUNTER! IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE GO TO YOUR ITEMS.”

You looked back downward. There seemed to be four options—FIGHT, ACT, ITEMS, and MERCY. You attempted to touch the ITEM button—but nothing happened, your hand moving through it like it was utterly intangible.

“gotta use your soul, kid,” came the voice of Sans—again, both auditorily, as well as a visual speech bubble off to the side of Papyrus. Wait… was that _actually_ the comic sans font? “i know it’s gotta feel like telling a fish to fly at first, but magic is about intent. ya gotta focus your intentions into reality.”

You nodded—not sure if Sans could actually see you in this state or not—and… did your best to _intend_ to use your items. Sure enough, after a moment of nothing… your soul slid over to the item button. You cheered, and a new window popped up.

There was only one choice: 

*COLOR INDICATOR.

“THERE SHOULD ONLY BE ONE OPTION. YOU SHOULD PICK THAT ONE!” Papyrus said. Shrugging, you focused on your want to try it out—and, sure enough, the item blinked as if selected.

The next thing you saw, a large circle of colors—all different shades and hues—popped up before you.

“okay, kid, first test. best you can, select the color closest to your soul. you should be able to move your soul around to help compare.”

Could they not just see it themselves? Internally shrugging, you brought your soul up to the circle, trying to zero in on the best one.

You looked at it, and carefully selected the color that matched—a dark, cobalt blue.

In the booth, the corresponding color lit up on the screen, tinting the room in a cobalt glow. The group of skeletons sat in a long beat of silence. 

Red was the first to speak up.

“stop lookin’ so fuckin’ smug, ya prick.” Despite the coarseness of his words, there was a lackluster tone to his assault, a clear sense of disappointment diluting the venom.

Sans felt for the guy, but resisted the urge to pat a comforting hand on his double’s shoulder, lest it get bitten off. “just the way our face is, pal. let’s just focus on what we can find out, yeah?”

As Red huffed, Sans leaned back in to press the intercom button. “alright, good job kid. next up, let’s do an interaction. why don’t you two start with a check? that’s probably the best way to ease into things.”

“RIGHTIE-O!” Papyrus said, hands on his hips. “HUMAN! IN FRONT OF YOU SHOULD BE THE CHOICE TO ACT. IF YOU PICK THAT, YOU CAN THEN CHOOSE TO ‘CHECK’ ME OUT!”

“Uh, alright,” you hazarded, looking over the display. Sure enough, there was a large ‘ACT’ button glowing at you. You didn’t really understand though; _if I wanted to check out Papyrus, couldn’t I just look at him?_

You focused on selecting it, and your options changed: ‘Check,’ ‘Flirt,’ ‘Hug,’ and ‘Compliment.’ Your face flushed. 

_What??? Why is flirting an option what even is this??_

“Uh, can you guys see what I see?” you asked, a slightly embarrassed sweat breaking out on your neck.

“nah, but ‘check’ is always an option. it lets you find out more about who you’re talking to. the other options change depending on the person and your relationship to them, though.”

You nodded, feeling a _slight_ tinge of relief. You selected check, deciding to ignore the implications of those other options for now. 

To your surprise, a small window popped up, text filtering in. 

“*PAPYRUS — ATK 20 DEF 20

*Believes in you.”

You tilted your head at the message. _What does that mean?_

“what do ya see, kid?”

“It says ‘Papyrus, a-t-k 20, d-e-f 20—I assume that’s attack and defense. Then it says… ‘Believes in you.’ Is that normal?”

You heard Sans’s chuckle over the intercom, and looked up to see a small, barely-there blush form above Papyrus’s cheekbones. It was _cute as hell_.

“checking lets you see a bit about the person in front of you. that also changes depending on what’s going on. could be a fact about them, who they are as a person, or what they’re feeling at the moment.”

“Oh. Well, that’s incredibly sweet, Pap!” you said, smiling warmly. You kind of liked this way of interacting; it was one thing for someone to _say_ they believed in you, but… this made it so there wasn’t much room for doubt. You didn’t know exactly _what_ he was believing in you for, but it warmed your heart nonetheless. 

“N-NYEH HEH, OF COURSE! NOW, I WILL CHECK YOU!”

He gestured to something you couldn’t see, and you couldn’t help but cringe nervously; you didn’t consider the prospect that he could see something _back_. 

“O-OH!” He stuttered, and his blush increased. “AH, IT SAYS ATTACK 6 AND DEFENSE 6. WE SHOULD TRAIN UP YOUR STATS SOMETIME!”

You heard a slight commotion from the booth, then Blackberry’s voice came through the intercom.

“WHAT ELSE DID IT SAY??”

“ER…” Papyrus hesitated, sweat dotting his forehead as his eyes glanced to you. _What? What did it say?_ “IT DEFINITELY SAID THAT THE HUMAN HOPES I HAVE A VERY NICE DAY. AND NOTHING AT ALL ABOUT APPRECIATING HOW A CERTAIN TALL SKELETON LOOKS WHEN HE BLUSHES.”

You facepalmed. _Awesome cover, Papyrus._ “What’s next, Sans?”

“we should get some baseline data on some interactions. you ready, pap?”

Papyrus nodded. “I’M GOING TO SEND SOME BONES YOUR WAY. DO YOUR VERY BEST TO AVOID THEM!”

“Okay! Uh, I don’t have to fight you, right? I really rather not.”

“NOT AT ALL! YOU CAN ACT, USE AN ITEM, OR SPARE ME!”

You weren’t exactly sure what “spare” him meant, but you chose to ACT instead, deciding to pay him a compliment. 

“You’re a great teacher, Papyrus! I appreciate you being so patient with me.”

“N-NYEH! YOUR SILKY WORDS MAY DISTRACT A LESSER MONSTER, BUT YOU CANNOT DISTRACT THE GREAT PAPYRUS! PREPARE YOURSELF!”

You… had _no_ idea what part of that was “silky,” but you readied yourself nonetheless. 

A pearly white bone materialized in front of you. Not sure what to expect, you got ready to dodge if it flung your way, your soul hovering out just in front of you-

It slowly began to move your way at a crawling pace. You kept your guard up, prepared for it to suddenly fling at any moment—but you were able to simply step around it, and it faded out of existence a couple feet behind you.

“GOOD JOB, HUMAN!” Papyrus congratulated, hands on his hips. You were… slightly confused, but beamed nonetheless.

“Thanks! That wasn’t as scary as I thought.”

“good job, kid. next up is magic interaction. pap, ya know what to do.”

“RIGHTIE-O! HUMAN, SELECT ANY OPTION. NEXT UP YOU’LL BE FACING MY SPECIAL ATTACK!”

Steeling yourself for a heightened challenge, you decided to move over to the MERCY option. You could either *Spare or *Run. 

_Does that mean I can run away if need be? Like a pokemon battle?_

You selected the “spare” option. Nothing happened, other than it became Papyrus’s turn.

_Weird. Wonder what that does._

You were distracted as your soul came back into focus—then flickered and dropped to the floor. It felt like an incredible weight had been put on you, and you _immediately_ panicked.

_Is something wrong with my soul-_

“YOU’RE BLUE NOW!” Papyrus announced. You merely stared in panicked confusion, and Papyrus’s skull tinged with a nervous sweat. “...IS WHAT I WOULD SAY IF YOUR SOUL WASN’T ALREADY BLUE, NYEHEHEH. IT’S GRAVITY MAGIC! GIVE YOUR SOUL A LITTLE WIGGLE!”

You attempted. It took a hot second—but eventually you were able to lift your soul up, as well as take a step forward and backward, and then a jump. It felt like weights were tied to your feet.

“EXCELLENT JOB, HUMAN! IN NO TIME YOU WILL BE A GRAVITY PRO!”

The turn ended with little ceremony. You hummed a note of surprise. 

_That’s it? Dang, this isn’t so bad. It’s a shame other people can’t experience this yet_ — _this is actually kind of fun._

“final test is taking a hit, if ya feel up for it.”

“Yeah!” If you were being honest, you weren’t _super_ psyched about the prospect of feeling a magical attack for the first time—but you absolutely trusted Papyrus. “Bring it on!”

Papyrus looked immediately uncomfortable, his gloved hands wringing together. “AH… I DON’T KNOW-” 

“It’s okay, Papyrus! I trust you. No pain, no gain, right?”

The tall skeleton looked concerned, but nodded. “A-ALRIGHT, IF YOU’RE CERTAIN…”

When you made no further objection, the selection screen came up. This time, you chose to give Papyrus a hug. As soon as you selected the choice, you felt your soul abruptly pull you in Papyrus’s direction, stopping short in front of him. He already had his arms open, and you hugged him warmly.

“How’d you know I was going to do that?” you asked as he released you. You weren’t automatically sent back away from him, so you took a few large steps back until you reached the square, preparing for his attack. It seemed like you were still under the effect of his magic, so it took quite a bit of effort.

“WE CAN FEEL YOUR SOUL’S INTENT! THESE INTERACTIONS ARE THEIR OWN FORM OF COMMUNICATION FOR MONSTERS. NOW, PLEASE, PREPARE YOURSELF HUMAN!”

Taking a deep breath, you grit your teeth slightly as another bone materialized. It began to move towards you, ever so slowly… before eventually stopping at your feet.

“Uh?” you asked. 

Looking to Papyrus, he was sweating up a storm—clearly, he didn’t want to hurt you. You did your best to smile at him with confidence, and with deep concentration, guided your soul forwards to touch the bone.

It felt like a sharp stab of electricity—but wasn’t any worse than a static shock from a door handle. In the dark peripheral of your status bars, you saw a little number pop up: **-0.001**. Your health decreased to 5.999.

_Wow. Is 6 actually a lot of hitpoints? Weird._

Before you could comment on it, a crashing voice came from the booth.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG!”’

“boss, ya shouldn’-”

“HOW MUCH HP DOES-”

“he’s gonna dust ‘em!”

The next thing you knew, Edge crashed into view, shoving Papyrus out of the way—Papyrus actually totally disappeared out of sight, a loud crash sounding off somewhere in the distance. 

You were distracted as your soul flickered in front of you, changing to a brilliant red hue. Several _incredibly_ large bones suddenly materialized in front of you. You did your best to dodge out of the way—but the last one flew towards your soul at an incredible speed, and you barely had time to cringe before it hit you. 

**-5.998**.

It felt like you had been cracked in the head with a baseball bat. Through a teetering glance at your health, you saw it was down to 0.001. 

Stars floating in your vision, your eyes swam to look at Edge, but you couldn’t discern his expression.

“HAH!” Came the voice of Blackberry, though it sounded distant—you realized your ears were ringing. “NOT EVEN 6 POINTS OF DAMAGE? I HAD SUSPECTED YOU’D DULLED OVER TIME, BUT WHO HAD KNOWN YOU’D FALLEN SO FAR?”

“FUCK YOU, YOU LITTLE-“

“I-“ you began, then felt a rush of gravity as you fell to your knees. It took all of your concentration not to vomit from the pain. You tried to take a breath, then talk, but the world felt hazy. “Aspp?”

_I don’t feel so good, Mister Krabs._

“kid?!”

"HUMAN?”

“I—I DIDN’T MEAN TO-”

You were slightly blinded as the bright lights of the lab came back into view, blinking at the blurry image of Edge exiting the room. Blackness came back suddenly, and you felt your body slump, unable to keep the effort of sitting upright. 

“honey, don’t dust on us,” you heard. You realized your eyes weren’t open, so you couldn’t see him, but you recognized the voice as Stretch. _I can’t dust, silly Stretsh. Stretsh? Streshh._

“shit, shit, pet, c’mon. green, you’re good at healing, can you stabilize her?”

“Ait? “Asay?” you said, your mouth feeling detached from you. You cleared your throat, doing your best to focus on keeping your brain together, and tried to speak again. “E-edge…”

“HE’S GONE, NO NEED TO WORRY-”

“He’s healy. Dr. Edge. Cat.” You felt like you could only barely select words through the fog that had descended over your brain. 

“i think she’s only barely holding herself together. darlin’, please open your eyes for us.”

It felt like it took all your effort, but your eyes opened. Green was indeed now in front of you, his gentle eyelight looking over you with concern.

“‘Ello m’ mellow fellow,” you slurred. Green’s brow furrowed, his skull’s cracks looking particularly painful as they bent with his expression. You winced partly for him, partly for yourself as your head pounded.

“Let’s Get You Right As Rain, My Dear,” Green soothed, his voice unusually soft. His hand hovered about an inch away from the center of your chest—and an overwhelming sense of warmth rushed into you. It felt _so nice,_ but the abrupt change only added to your dizziness. 

Were you drunk now? Had you been drinking? You couldn’t remember. Maybe you needed another drink. Whatever you’d been drinking felt _good._

Green must have noticed, his hands moving to steady you as his eyelight darted over you evaluatively. “How Do You Feel?”

You attempted to keep yourself upright and focused, but your brain felt like it was swimming through warm molasses. “M’ drunk. Ten points to Huffleclaw.” 

“Uh?” Green hazarded nervously. His jacket didn’t look exactly soft, but closed your eyes and leaned forward, placing your head on his shoulder.

“Pillow mode engaged. All systems go.”

You vaguely felt hands on you, and then your world shifting—but you were too far into blackness to really acknowledge it. There was so much that you wanted to ask, and say—but you just couldn’t grab hold. 

“shh, starlight. you’re safe. get some rest, alright?”

Unable to resist the low, kind notes of that voice, padded softly with affection and worry, you submitted to the exhaustion, allowing it to sweep you away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those unable to read the bloodwork section:  
> You initially refuse the tests, but after assurances that there's no pressure to do it, G is able to get the bloodwork without issue. Sans tells you jokes to help and you nearly crush Red's hand in the process.
> 
> \----  
> Hey everybody!
> 
> I debated splitting this up into two separate chapters; let me know if this is too long of a length to be comfortable to read!  
> I'm super duper excited for what's coming next; things are starting to get rolling! The jokes in the bloodwork section was inspired by an ER doc who did the same for me a couple months back. The jokes were *awful*--ones that Sans would be proud of--but it helped keep my minds of things. It was a huge help.  
> As always, thank you so much for your comments; they're truly what keep this story going. If you'd like to talk to any of the characters, feel free to ask them a question in the comments!
> 
> If you’d like to join on discord, you can find us [here!](https://discord.gg/hT5tSBY)  
> Everyone on our discord is a genuine sweet pea, and you should stop by!  
> You can also follow me on Tumblr: [here](gastersans.tumblr.com) and [here!](skeletonprideparade.tumblr.com)
> 
> Hope you guys like what's to come! :) 
> 
> ____  
> Oh, one last thing, for those of us with a curious eye:  
> Considering an ending secret attached really could influence plot hints, everybody ready? Tpnfuijohnpsfjowpmwfe.Dbozpvifbsnftujmm?


	4. A Surprise for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find your surprise, and Red and Sans have a talk.

You weren’t sure just how long you were out, but consciousness came to you in slowly knit-together pieces: your eyes were open before your neurons actually connected sight to the processing parts of your brain, a mere wave of light and colors. Sound, too, took its time dragging itself in place; it was only after the third repetition of your name that you recognized someone was calling out to you.

“Wznfl?” you asked. You then attempted to sit up, and failed. A pair of gentle but firm hands came to your rescue, exerting steady lifting pressure on your shoulder and back, helping you upwards.

“-My Dear,” Green was saying. You were mutely aware he had been in the middle of a sentence, but you caught it too late. You blinked quite a few times, rubbing your face, trying to reestablish a sense of feeling and body. Eventually, you felt put together enough to try to speak.

“Are we-” you started, then cleared your throat, “-are we still in the same universe?”

The focus of your sight swiveled to Green, your vision dancing on a seesaw. He looked confused.

“Yes, My Dear. There Was An Incident-”

“I remember,” you cut, though not sharply, your tone soft. “Just… woof. This feels as disorienting as when Red and I went to his universe. I’m sorry, I don’t feel like my head’s on right yet.”

“Nothing To Apologize For, My Dear. Here,” he said, bringing a tall glass of water into view. You became aware you were in some sort of bedroom, laying in bed—but anything farther than a few feet away was fuzzy, so you focused back in on Green, accepting the glass from him. You took a careful sip—god, the water was bliss.

“Thank you,” you said, handing it back to him after a large few gulps. “What… what happened? I mean, I remember Edge, and the attack, and you—but I don’t really understand.”

“Edge Hit You With An Attack That Nearly Shattered Your Soul. I Then Healed You, But I’m Afraid That, In My Haste, I Might Have Overdone It A Tad.” He grinned apologetically, looking abashed. “Fortunately, A Magical Overdose Does No Long-Term Harm. Just Going To Take A Bit To Get You Back In Sorts. I Am Truly Sorry, My Dear-”

“Green, please, gosh, no need to apologize,” you said, reaching out and placing your hand over his. “You saved my life. Thank you, so, so much—I don’t even quite know how to properly thank you, but I certainly will try to do so when I’m more with it. I’m in your debt.”

His face instantly lit up with a bright forest hue.

“N-NOT AT ALL, MY DEAR!” you’d apparently startled him back into normal volume—which, honestly, was fine; your head’s pounding was just about totally ebbed away. He placed a hand to his chest, looking at you with earnest sincereness. “IT WAS AN HONOR TO BE OF SOME SERVICE TO A FRIEND IN A TIME OF NEED.”

That was it. If anyone ever hurt this sweet green bean, they were dead.

You went to speak, then realized he was kneeling by your bedside—how long had he been here for?

“Oh, man! Please sit! I’m feeling a hundred percent better, I promise.” Indeed, the world was coming back to you—you could see it was still daylight outside, though the skies were a deep gray, spitting rain against the window.

You couldn’t say you recognized the room, so you could at least be sure it wasn’t Red’s—as you looked around, you realized the space was quite heavily designed with a space theme. The curtains had constellations on them, the bedspread contained a deep galaxy, there were glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling, star fairy lights, a moon lamp-

Someone _really_ liked space. Maybe Sans? You, honestly, were a little envious; you shared his love very much. There also were little knickknacks here and there on the shelves, but they were too far away to see. You turned back to Green, who had pulled up a chair from a desk at the far end of the room and was currently sitting down.

He heaved a deep breath, giving you a tired smile as he casually crossed his lengthy legs. The poor guy was clearly exhausted.

“I hope you don’t mind my saying so, but you seem thoroughly spent, Green. Why don’t you rest?” A thought then smacked you. “Wait, this isn’t your room, is it? I swear I don’t need it anymore-“

“NO, NO,” Green said, lifting up a hand, quickly dismissing you. “THIS… WELL, ACTUALLY, IT IS YOUR ROOM.”

You blinked, then looked around the room. Uh, nope, you definitely were not at home.

“AH… SURPRISE?” Green said, a nervous tinge coming to his features. “I’M AFRAID WE HAD PLANNED TO SHOW IT TO YOU IN A FAR MORE CELEBRATORY FASHION THAN THIS, BUT… WE DECIDED THAT, SINCE YOUR DRIVE IS SO LONG—WE’D OFFER YOU A GUEST ROOM OF YOUR OWN, SO YOU COULD REST FROM YOUR TRAVEL IF YOU CHOSE. WE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE COMING HERE AT PERSONAL COST, SO WE WANTED TO EASE THAT BURDEN HOWEVER POSSIBLE.”

You looked around the room again. “This… You guys decorated this for me?”

“WHY YES,” Green said, looking around the room. “SANS SUGGESTED YOU MIGHT LIKE A SPACE THEME. I DO HOPE HE WAS CORRECT—IT SEEMS LIKE PAPYRUS AND BLUEBERRY WENT RATHER HEAVY-HANDED WITH IT. ”

“He… he was correct,” you said. You thought back to the first time you and Sans met—that night, discussing the stars on the beach—and you felt your heart clench.

Green reached out a long arm, leaning over to the bedside table and opening up a drawer. “WE ALL ADDED OUR OWN TOUCHES. FOR MYSELF, THERE ARE SOME BOOKS ON THE SHELF ABOVE YOUR DESK THAT ARE SOME OF MY VERY FAVORITES, AND THEN THIS.”

He slid a book out of the drawer before handing it over to you. You inspected the cover—and instantly recognized it.

“IT’S MY OWN PERSONAL COPY OF MONSTER’S SEARCH FOR MEANING. I RECALL YOU SAYING YOU WERE ONLY ABLE TO READ IT ONCE, AND WERE LOOKING TO REREAD IT. I’M AFRAID I’VE MADE SOME NOTES ON THE MARGIN, BUT I HOPE THAT WOULDN’T BE TOO DISTRACTING FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT.”

You didn’t know what to say; your heart felt like it was wobbling in your chest as you gripped the book. You looked up at Green. He, alternatively, wasn’t meeting your stare, his eyes drifting to the floor.

“I FEEL THAT THIS SURPRISE MAY BE OF LITTLE USE AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY. WE… REALIZE THAT YOU BEFELL GREAT HARM HERE, IN A MANNER THAT WAS QUITE NEARLY FATAL. NEEDLESS TO SAY, WE UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO RETRACT YOUR VERY GENEROUS OFFER OF AIDING OUR RESEARCH. IF YOU FELT THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO LEAVE OUR STEAD IMMEDIATELY, WE CAN ARRANGE TO HAVE YOU DRIVEN BACK HOME. I-”

His voice then cracked, and he immediately put his hands to his eyes, shutting his sockets tight.

“BLΑSҬ, I’M SѺ SORRY, MY DEAR, Į-”

You practically sprung out of the bed, nearly falling over as you leaned over to hug him. Hindsight said you probably should have asked first—but he thankfully didn’t seem to mind. After a moment of surprise, he embraced you tightly, his digits curling into the fabric of your shirt.

The two of you sat in silent embrace for a long moment, the only sound the patter of rain on the window. Green then loosened his grip, though didn’t quite pull away, giving a sniff before he spoke.

“I’M SO SORRY. IT MUST HAVE BEEN SO TERRIFYING.”

“Not exactly; I didn’t even know what was happening. But, regardless—I’m not going anywhere, Green.”

Another pause, his bones stiffening slightly against you.

“...ARE YOU CERTAIN? WE... WOULD ABSOLUTELY UNDERSTAND IF YOU CHOSE TO DO SO.”

You rubbed his back gently before pulling away, sending a small smile as you sat back down on your bed. Green quickly wiped at his sockets.

“I’m certain, Green. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying I’ll tolerate _anything,_ but I know Edge didn’t mean to do it. It was hard to see at the time—but I could tell he was as shocked as I was.”

“I AM INCLINED TO AGREE. HUMANS—ESPECIALLY ADULT HUMANS—TEND TO HAVE SIGNIFICANTLY HIGHER HP THAN 6.”

“And there’s no way Edge could have known, right? Though…” You attempted to think back to that moment. It happened so quickly—most of it was like a haze in your mind. “How do you think he stopped at that last bit of HP? That was… incredibly lucky.”

“I BELIEVE THAT EDGE, TOO, SHARES THE TRAIT THAT THE MAJORITY OF MY DOUBLES HAVE—A UNIQUE SKILL THAT ALLOWS US TO INSTINCTUALLY STOP DAMAGE BEFORE… IT IS TOO LATE.” Green hummed in thought. “I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT EDGE’S UPBRINGING WOULD HAVE OVERPOWERED THAT FAILSAFE—BUT WHETHER IT WAS DUE TO HIS LACK OF INTENT TO KILL, OR IF HE IS SIMPLY USED TO LEAVING HIS OPPONENTS WITH A FRACTION OF LIFE, I AM UNCERTAIN.”

A frown settled heavily on Green’s face as he looked off in thought, his stare going out to the window.

“I _know_ he didn’t mean it, Green. It was just an accident-”

“I AGREE, MY DEAR. UNFORTUNATELY, MY BROTHERS ARE LESS INCLINED TO AGREE AT THE MOMENT.”

You sighed out in frustration, your head rolling back. The simple action made you dizzy.

“Don’t they see that makes no sense? You all are geniuses; you’d think that they’d act a little more logically here.”

“YOU’D CERTAINLY THINK,” Green agreed, an unusual note of aggravation in his voice. He then sighed. “HOWEVER, THEY WERE TERRIFIED AT THE THOUGHT OF LOSING YOU. AND THOSE IN FEAR RARELY ACT WITH THEIR BEST SENSE.”

You smiled tiredly at Green. It was nice to have _someone_ acting with a proper head. “Well, I’m glad to have at least _you_ in the same camp. Do you think we can go down and try to talk some sense into them?”

Green stiffened, looking to the door nervously.

“ER, WELL…”

A sigh dragged itself from your chest as you closed your eyes. If level-headed, calm Green was concerned…

“Alright, hit me. What’d I miss?”

“EVERYONE IS… RATHER UPSET CURRENTLY. A TAD… _HOSTILE_. I BELIEVE THERE MAY BE A BIT OF A ‘MANHUNT’ FOR EDGE. A SKELETON-HUNT.”

Your fingers flexed in aggravation, a flash of itching to wring some boney necks briefly taking over your hands. Scratch what you said earlier—your headache was _definitely_ coming back.

“Alright, Green. Let’s go see if we can talk some sense into them?”

“AH… I’M NOT SURE THAT IS THE WISEST DECISION…” He folded his hands, though tightly, nervously. “OF COURSE, I WOULD ENSURE NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TO YOU! BUT, I WILL ADMIT, THERE MAY BE AN ELEMENT OF DANGER-”

“Green…” Pinching the bridge of your nose, you focused on belaying any annoyance before speaking again; he didn’t deserve any of your ire. “I really, really appreciate you trying to look out for me; I imagine it was quite difficult to watch what happened earlier. But… Edge is my friend too. What kind of friend would I be if I stood idly by and watched?”

“I… DO SUPPOSE YOU ARE RIGHT. ALRIGHT, MY DEAR, I AM SURE WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER. LET’S GET YOU UP NOW.”

Green stood, offering his hands to you to help you up. A touch of pride told you to not accept, but you wisely pushed against it, slipping your hands into his as he helped you to stand. It seemed a bit odd that an excess of healing magic would have you so discombobulated, but after a moment of shaking out your legs, you felt like you could firmly stand.

“Let’s go call off this manhunt.”

Although the two of you did not know it, the manhunt had already been called off.

He’d had quite the headstart; you had been the primary focus of the group for several minutes after the incident.

Even with this, however, Sans was _certain_ he’d had some help in evading detection; although he wasn’t the _best_ tracker, there was no way Edge had gotten so far in such little time. They’d been tracking him in the rain for hours—no clues, no _anything_.

It didn’t take a scientific mind to guess who.

He found Red in the living room, sitting on the couch—not bothering to even keep up the façade of looking for his brother. Sans stood in front of the couch that Red sat, blocking the TV Red was currently watching.

“where is he, red?”

“don’t have the faintest fuckin’ idea what yer talkin’ about.”

“ _red._ ”

“i find it kinda funny ya can’t find him, comedian. surely a smart guy like yerself-”

“y’know,” Sans cut, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “ _i_ find it kinda funny that you say that ya care like i do, but you seemed to cut out of the room before we got the soul stabilized.”

There was a long silence between the two. Red then stood. Sans didn’t flinch.

“alright. let’s take this shit outside. boss’ll fuckin’ kill me if we wreck the place.”

You _heard_ it before you saw it. At first, it was a sound like a plane powering up—and then an explosion, one that shook the house.

You’d been on the staircase with Green, and nearly fell down, clinging to the railing for dear life.

“What the _fuck-”_

“OH, BOTHER.”

You turned back to exchange looks with Green, your eyes as wide as his sockets. Instantly, you began to run down the stairs.

“NO, HUMAN-!”

You knew Green was trying to watch out for you, but your sudden burst of adrenaline aided your descent, keeping your feet nimble as you jumped down the final few steps and ran in the direction of the sound. Not too far away from the stairs, you found a large set of double glass doors, leading to the back of the house-

You threw open the door, taking a step out into the rain, the skies now dark and agitated. Blinking back water from your eyes, you went to run-

And then you felt someone pick you up.

“PLEASE FORGIVE THE LACK OF CONSENT WITH THIS GRAB, _MON ANGE._ SUGAR?”

“you got it, razzy.”

In the next moment, you felt the tell-tale lurch of your stomach, and found yourself back in the living room.

Razz put you down carefully, steadying you as you stood. You could hear muffled noises from outside—it increasingly sounded like someone was trying to make a rendition of Star Wars in the backyard, something akin to _lasers_ distantly sounding off.

“Guys! Not cool!” you said, taking a step towards the exit of the living room. Sugar immediately held up an arm, blocking your exit.

“bro, mind going to our room and moving stuff from the outer wall? a lot of that equipment was expensive.”

“RIGHT!”

Razzy took off, leaving you and Sugar behind. You gave Sugar a lame, exasperated look.

“Sugar, I don’t want to bodily move you, but this is really not okay. Please, just let me talk to them-”

Sugar didn’t move away, but lowered his arm. He stepped up to you, his face looking surprisingly tender. You also realized he was sweating. What had been going on out there?

“cutie... we just almost lost you today,” he said, placing his hands lightly—without any sense of constriction—on your arms. “ya really gonna make us watch that twice in one day?”

A wave of warmth passed through you, touched and surprised—but it did nothing to douse the flame within. You _had_ to stop it. You reached up, placing a hand over his on your arm as you looked back at him. “I’ll be careful, I promise, Sugar. Trust me on this, and I won’t let you down!”

Indecision wavered in his luminescent eyelights before he sighed.

“you sound like my bro. alright, cutie, go.”

Grinning widely, you quickly leaned in, giving him a large smooch on the cheek before darting around him, quick to move before he could change his mind.

His eyes trailed after you as you left, hands going to cup his cheek.

_man, when was the last time i got played by puppy eyes like that? ya better keep your word, cutie…_

You booked it back outside. You spotted Green standing off to the side—but he wasn’t looking at you. He was turned to the side, face aghast and panicked.

You expected Edge to be out there—but he was nowhere to be found.

Instead, there was just _Red and Sans_ —and they were fighting.

It… was honestly _terrifying_.

There was an odd, shimmering dome around them; you assumed this was where the boundaries of the “encounter” held. Within it, you could make out Sans and Red—but it was _nothing_ like what you experienced. There were bones similar to the one Papyrus sent at you, except they were _massive_ , and fast moving; you could barely make out the lightning-fast movement between Sans and Red. More alarmingly—appearing and disappearing out of thin air—were large, canine-like floating skulls _and they were shooting ‘i’mma firin’ mah lazer’ beams out of their mouths what the fuck_.

There was a moment where true terror struck you; your brain wanted you to turn tail and nope right out of the situation. You even felt your feet, unbidden by any sort of logical thought, take a step backwards towards the house-

But then you saw the two _nearly_ hit each other, a simultaneous attack catching the other off guard. It was a near-miss.

Now, your feet were acting without thought again—but this time you were running towards the dome, all fear forgotten.

“I cannot _believe_ you two!”

Neither Sans nor Red had ever had a mother, but they had been around Tori long enough to recognize the cold, fierce snap of mother-like authority in that tone. Someone was fiercely _disappointed._

It was enough to jar them into pause—which turned out to be for the best, as you suddenly crashed into the middle of the encounter, just _barely_ dodging out of the tail-end path of an errant bone attack. Blackness had surrounded you as soon as you stepped inside the shimmering sphere, and the distracting tug of your flickering soul from your chest nearly had you running right into the bone. After your successful, last-second dodge, you moved to the center of the two.

“kid-?!”

“doll-?!”

“Stop this shit right now,” you commanded, anger burning brightly within your chest. You had no idea how to end the encounter yourself, but there must be some way-

“he fuckin’ started it!” Red grit his teeth, a bone materializing in his hand. _What are these guys, five years old?_ You instantly darted in front of Sans, throwing a protective arm up.

“I don’t give a shit who started it, _I’m_ ending it! If… I can figure out how-”

“ _kid_ ,” came the hard voice of Sans behind you, “ya really should get out of here. this is something we have to work out for ourselves.”

You spun on him, anger spiking into frustration. “How?? By killing one another?” You gestured to Red behind you as you stared unflinchingly at him. “I’m _not_ letting you hurt Red, as much as I’m not letting him hurt you.”

Sans’s returning stare flinched for a brief second—something akin to shock cracking through—before it solidified into something harder. “ya don’t get it. edge nearly _killed you_ , and then ran away and left you to _shatter_. and _red’s_ defending him, hiding him-”

“It was an _accident,_ Sans. None of us knew jack going into that; you guys certainly didn’t tell me not to fight. What if I hurt Papyrus accidentally? What if I had even lower health, and Papyrus _had_ ‘shattered’ me? Edge might have been overzealous, but he didn’t _mean_ it. I don’t give a fuck if he _had_ killed me—it was a mistake, and he doesn’t deserve a witch hunt.”

That crack of confusion and surprise came back through his expression. You didn’t know what was so hard to understand, but he clearly didn’t _get it._

“starsh-”

“yeah!” Red added behind you, sounding not unlike a petulant child watching their sibling getting punished, “that’s what i was fuckin’ _tellin’_ ya-“

“And _you_ ,” you said, wheeling back on Red. He instantly staggered back, taking a step away, sweat dotting his skull. “I might have been unconscious, but don’t think I’m stupid enough to not know that you’ve been antagonizing Sans. Am I wrong?”

“i-i mean-“

“ _Am I wrong?_ ”

“...no.”

“Alright then,” you said, taking a deep breath, letting some of the steam of anger in your chest release. “We’re going back inside, and you two are talking this out like _adults_.”

“but-“

“kid-”

“We’re _going. Now.”_

A part of you recognized that they had no _real_ reason to follow you—but, under the metal weight of pure, holy anger, they were successfully cowed into ending the encounter. The world outside faded back into view, the feeling of increasingly heavy rain falling back on your skin. You took a deep breath and turned, heading back inside. The two trailed behind you as you walked into the house—you passed by Green, giving him a wan, tired smile as you walked by. He looked on with a mixture of concern and confusion as your group passed, but didn’t stop you.

You then directed them into the living room, where you gestured to the couch. They both sat, clothes drenched, looking equally miserable to be here as to be in sopping wet clothes.

Standing in front of them, facing them directly with your arms folded, you let them sit in heavy, uncomfortable silence for a moment before speaking.

“Okay. Talk.”

Sans sighed, closing his sockets for a beat before opening them to look at you. “kid, it’s not as simple-“

“I don’t _care_. You two are talking this out, or I’m not coming back.”

The two instantly froze. You felt a _little_ bad about the ultimatum—but how were you supposed to sit here and take it? You were _not_ going to sit idly by as two people who you cared about destroyed one another, nor was it your job to play parent to their bullshit. This needed to end _today_.

...But their panicked, reeling looks _did_ douse your fire slightly. You sighed, and decided to amend your sentiment.

“Listen, I know that’s a harsh thing to threaten—I understand something about my soul power or whatever could be the key to getting everyone back home, and to leave you without a way to test that is a bit extreme.”

Pressed your lips together for a moment, before dropping your arms from their defensive position.

“I care about you two—and the rest of the guys—very much. We might not have known each other long, but I can tell that all of you— _i_ _ncluding Edge_ —are good souls worth sticking around for. _But,_ ” you said, the tenderness ebbing from your voice, “I’m _not_ gonna just sit and watch you two destroy each other, either. Fix your shit.”

There was another silence again before Red cleared his throat. “yer not mad ya almost got offed back with edge, or almost hurt just now?”

You blinked, the question blindsiding your frustration. “Uh, to be honest, no. I guess I didn’t think either of you would physically hurt me if you could help it.”

“ _physically_ hurt you?”

“Well, yeah.” You then put your hand on your hip, shooting them a leveling, truth-serving stare. “If you don’t think your fighting _emotionally_ hurts those who care about you, then you two are bigger numbskulls than I thought.”

The pair had the decency to look abashed, avoiding your gaze. Message successfully delivered, your glare softened. “I know it’s not exactly my business, but _please_ , just try, guys? I can even moderate as a neutral party, if you wanted-“

“ ** _no._** ” they both said in unison.

You stared. _Eerie_.

“‘s private shit. sorry, kitten.”

“yeah,” Sans agreed, though there was a _hint_ of acidity in his tone you didn’t miss as he turned to look at Red, “ _cat’s got our tongue_ on this one.”

“ya got a problem with me callin’ her kitten now, asshole? i’ll fuckin‘-”

“ _Friends,”_ you said directly, snapping their attention back to you. “Sort. Your shit. Out.”

With that, you turned, walking out of the room and up the stairs.

Where you planned on going, neither of the skeletons knew. Maybe back to your room?

A heavy, waitful silence settled in your absence. There seemed to be a battle as to who would break it first—and, to the surprise of neither of them, Red’s anger had him throwing in the towel first. He turned to Sans.

“fer fuckssake, alright. just think about it. yer fuckin’ _me,_ sans-“

“woah, buddy. i know i’m handsome, but i’m pretty sure our relationship is platonic-“

Red growled aloud. “ya fuckin _know_ what i mean. we’re the same person. so imagine bein’ yerself, stuck in some janky universe—and you meet the one person ya weren’t supposed to _._ ya think i’m gonna give that shit up just cause some version of myself doesn’t believe it’s the same thing?”

“i’d hope _i’d_ have more sense. i’m sorry your version is gone, bud—i really mean that—but i’m havin’ a hard time seeing how it _could_ be the same. that being said, even if it _was_ the same, that still doesn’t-”

“still fuckin’ nothin’! ya don’t think we all can’t see this is just ‘cause ya want the human to yerself?”

Sans sighed, running a hand over his skull. “okay, yeah, fine. i’d be lying if i said there wasn’t a _teeny_ part of it that’s for selfish purposes. but i’m _also_ trying to protect from what could happen with all of you around.”

“from _what_? we’ve been over this a million times. the edge thing was an accident, n’ none of the rest of us would. do ya _really_ think we’d-?”

“alright, let’s say you _are,_ and things continue as they are. let’s say you all get close. what happens when you leave, then, red? ‘cause i don’t like the idea of my _soulmate_ getting their heart broken.”

There it was. Out on the living room table.

Red’s grip tightened, fists curling. He… wanted to say he’d leave boss, that there was no way he’d leave _you,_ but… he couldn’t.

“if it’s not permanent,” Sans added, his voice somewhat kinder—which was worse, because it meant Sans thought he was right—“i don’t think it’s worth getting both of you deeper into it. it’ll just lead to heartbreak for you _and_ -”

“that’s such hypocritical _bullshit_ ,” Red said, turning on Sans. “listen up, ya fuck: if there’s one thing i know about me, it’s that i know this _all_ could be over the second the kid trips over a rock. the only reason i flipped that damn switch that brought us here—the reason _you,_ all of us did—was that we wanted to try fer somethin’ more anyway. even if it ends tomorrow—it was worth tryin’. an’ i ain’t gonna be the baby bones bitch that didn’t even _try_ just cause it might not be forever.”

Sans was silent.

Red didn’t know what that meant. He didn’t _care_ what that meant. He met Sans’s stare—truly _looking_ at him—trying to convey his intent.

“wouldn’t ya do the exact same, sans? if you were me, and this was yer one shot at _more?”_

Sans was silent for a longer moment still, eyelights unflinching and grin frozen.

Then:

“you’re right.”

“fuckin’—wait, what?”

“i know i’m not deaf, pal, so i know ya heard me.”

Sans then closed his sockets, taking a deep breath as his shoulders untensed.

“i’ve known this could end every day since it started, and i chose to try anyway. i thought it was hard to keep trying, but it’s _exhausting_ to always give up. this is the happiest i’ve been in a long time, and i think i’m starting to realize that trying is worth it, even if it goes away.”

Sans’s eyes then opened, shifting to regard Red. “i’m not sayin’ i necessarily believe that it’s the same for the rest of you—but, if i felt like it was, i wouldn’t stop either.”

Red stared back. He _almost_ couldn’t believe it—but Sans wasn’t lying.

There was another beat of silence, though Red thought this one felt abruptly lighter, almost to the point of being dizzying.

“so... the fuck do we do now?”

“no clue,” Sans said, shrugging unhelpfully. “everybody seems to want to try, but i don’t know how a human would feel about it.”

“wait—ya’d actually be willin’ ta do the group thing?”

“eh, might not be so bad,” Sans said casually, putting his arms back behind his head as he leaned back on the couch. “when i saw pap gettin’ all glowy, i was worried i might get jealous—but it was actually pretty nice. felt good to see the people i care about care about each other, y’know?”

“can’t say i know what the fuck yer talkin’ about, but i guess we’ll see if it actually happens.”

Red then gave Sans a sidelong glance, considering his relaxed position.

“i guess it’d help our case if we weren’t fuckin’ throwin’ down all the time, huh?”

Sans regarded Red back for a beat, then stretched out a hand to him.

“guess so, buddy. truce?”

Red gave Sans a lame look, but shook his hand anyway—looking utterly unsurprised when a large, wet fart noise sounded out. “truce. though, uh, we ain’t gonna make out ‘r nuthin now, right? i’ll try a lotta shit, but i ain’t down fer that kinda weird.”

Sans’s expression, for once, was utterly deadpan. “no.”

“good, good.” Red finally relaxed back into the couch. He was… _really_ fucking tired. As much as he knew he _could_ take Sans, having to constantly watch his back this past week was too much like being back in his universe. “so, what’re ya think the chances are our human would agree?”

“mm... forty percent if everyone takes it slow and plays it smart. two percent if we don’t.”

“so... two percent?”

“yeah.”

“shit.”

“yeah.”

Red and Sans took a moment, the potential future of that ninety-eight percent disaster hanging heavily over them.

“but hey,” Sans said, dropping his arms to the couch. “as far as we knew, this all happening wasn’t even a chance. so who knows?”

“that sounds like some papyrus thinking.”

“well, what can i say? that guy’s the coolest,” Sans grinned cheekily, before his smile relaxed into something more sincere. “i think his way of thinking has been rubbing off on me lately. and it seems to be working out.”

Red didn’t want to admit it, but being around so many optimistic people all the time… It might have been rubbing off on him too, just a smidge. Optimism, when constantly given at Papyrus and Blueberry-level doses, tended to spread like a disease.

He shook his head, sitting up on the couch. “yeah, yeah, enough with the sappy shit. let’s get everyone together so we can try not ta fuck it up.”

“smart thinkin’, pal. hopefully it won’t be a problem making ‘em waiting a bit longer for us.”

Your patience was not unlimited, and it was, indeed, starting to become a problem.

It wasn’t so much the wait itself; you knew that Sans and Red clearly had a lot to sort through, and you’d headed back up to the guest bedroom, prepared to wait for the long haul. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and—despite being the same person at soul—it felt like those two had a city just as large between them.

They probably could’ve _really_ used a therapist in there, but you respected that boundary.

The only issue—just a small problem—was that you were currently fucking _freezing_. The late summer rain had felt fairly warm upon first impact, but now—standing around under the dry cool air coming out of the vents ( _these rich bastards had central air installed_ )—you were shivering up a storm.

Although Green had said this was _your room_ , you were still a guest here. As such, you found yourself head-facing your ultimate kryptonite:

The potential of being impolite.

You couldn’t slide under the covers, right? That would make them wet. Even if you undressed (which did _not_ sound like a good idea either in this household), your body would still be wet, and it was a pain in the ass to try to air out a wet blanket. You’d passed by the bathroom, but hadn’t seen any towels in there; maybe they had a linen closet somewhere, or kept their own towels in their room..?

You crossed your arms around yourself as a particularly powerful shiver went through you.

_Goddamnit why are you like this just ask someone for christsake-_

Forcing your feet out the door, you looked around at the second floor hallway. There were _many_ doors along the straight path before you. Taking a deep breath, you stepped up to the one closest to you, and knocked.

You waited a beat. No answer.

You stepped up to the next one, and knocked. Also no answer.

You went to just about _every goddamn door_ in the hallway, and _nobody_ was around. Were they all still searching for Edge? Were they out killing one another in the rain _too?_ Had this been one big hallucination, and you were actually stuck in a _ghost_ house that made you think you had skeleton friends-?

You were at the very last door in the hallway, and stuck in your pre-hypothermia thought spiral when the final door—to your surprise—actually opened.

Standing there, looking _deeply_ uncomfortable (perhaps, to the point of anger)—was Edge.

_Oh, bother._

“H-HUMAN?!”

“E-edge?!”

Realization struck you, and you immediately pushed past him and into his room, closing the door quickly behind you.

“H-HUMAN, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU-”

“Edge, _everyone_ is looking for you,” you hissed lowly, your voice as whisper-thin as you could make it. “I mean, I don’t know if they _still_ are—I hope not, but they seemed _really_ upset. Where have you been this whole time?”

“HERE,” Edge said, folding his arms. You looked around you at the room you were currently in: it was decorated with plush red carpeting with some kind of flame rug, a torn pirate flag and metal band posters, shelving with what looked like _action figures_ on the wall... By way of furniture it was pretty bare; there was a bookshelf, a desk with a sleek-looking monitor and computer chair, and a four-poster bed at the far end of the room, adorned with black, dramatic curtains-

“Is… this your room, Edge?”

“YES, OF COURSE IT IS. CAN YOU NOT TELL FROM MY FLAWLESS AESTHETIC?”

“...So you’ve been here. In your room. This whole time.”

“YES. WHY?”

You brought your hands to your face, and just _barely_ resisted the urge to scream into them.

_They’re idiots. I’m in a house filled with crazy, stupid, genius idiots._

You forced your urge to scream into a deep sigh instead, taking a moment to rub your face. “Well, I’m glad you’re alright. That’s all that matters.”

“OF COURSE I AM! _YOU’RE_ THE ONE THAT WAS ALMOST…”

His voice dropped away, and you lowered your hands. His arms were still folded—and he was pointedly looking away from you.

“I’m not mad or upset, Edge. It’s not your fault.”

He finally looked at you, several emotions visibly flickering over his face—before he settled on indignant anger.

“ _I_ KNOW THAT. WHAT KIND OF HUMAN ONLY HAS 6 HP? IT’S PRACTICALLY PATHETIC.”

You got the sense he didn’t _really_ mean that, but it wasn’t exactly pleasant to hear nonetheless. You gave him a look that said as much. “Gee, thanks Boss.”

Rubbing your arms, you looked away from him. _Is it really that bad? Maybe that’s just coming from someone from his type of universe-_

You were abruptly distracted as a gloved hand came into view, placing itself stiffly on your head. You couldn’t tell if this was meant to be comforting or attacking.

“YOU… MUST BE MORE CAREFUL, NEXT TIME. I AM AS FEARSOME AS I AM HANDSOME, AND I COULD VERY EASILY END SOMEONE AS WEAK AS YOU. YOU SHOULD ENDEAVOR TO BECOME MUCH MORE CONSTITUTIONALLY SOUND, AND QUICKLY.”

You smiled, though it came out slightly cringed under the weight of his surprisingly heavy hand.

“Thanks, Boss,” you repeated, this time more sincere. “I can’t make any promises, but I’ll do my best; I don’t want to worry you guys-”

“I WAS _NOT_ WORRIED!” he said, retracting his hand quickly. “WHY WOULD I CARE IF SOME HUMAN GOT THEMSELVES KILLED? I JUST DON’T WANT THE REST OF THOSE FUCKING WEEPY IDIOTS BITCHING AT ME SHOULD THIS HAPPEN AGAIN.”

You stared at him for a beat, unable to tell if he was being serious or not. Deciding that it didn’t _quite_ matter, a chill brought you back to the much more urgent matter at hand.

“Right. Well. On that note, I’m sorry to ask—I’m starting to get a bit of hypothermia here from the rain. To prevent another near-death, could you get me a towel?”

“UGH, FINE. YET AGAIN, _I_ MUST BECOME THE SAVIOR…” He then opened the door. You then went to follow, but he held a hand up, stopping you in your tracks. “WAIT HERE. I WILL BE BACK MOMENTARILY.”

“Uh, sure, Boss.”

Complying, you stood awkwardly in the center of the room, you shivers slowly increasing now that you had nothing to distract you. Trying to set your mind on anything _other_ than the cold lacing your skin, you moved to the bookshelf, perusing the book titles.

There were a lot of books on puzzles, and animal traps, and… _historical_ _torture methods_?

You… _really_ hoped he was just some kind of history buff.

You went to turn away from the bookshelf—deciding there were some things you _didn’t_ want to know—when a book, sitting apart from the rest on Edge’s desk, caught your eye.

 _Dating Manual?_ _What’s that? Like one of those dating for dummy books?_

Unable to resist the lure, you picked it up, flipping it open to a random page.

_What the fuck is a dating HUD?_

The door clicked open, and you lowered the book slightly. Edge stepped in, holding a towel, as well as some folded clothes.

“MY DISGUSTING BROTHER DOESN’T HAVE MUCH FOR CLEAN CLOTHES, BUT I, WITH MY GREAT HUNTING SKILL, MANAGED TO— _HUMAN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”_

“Uh,” you said, looking from him, to the book in your hands, then back to him. “Reading?”

He stalked over to you, and for a brief second you were worried you were headed for encounter part two—but, alternatively, he snatched the book out of your hands, then placed the towel and clothes in instead before pointing to the door.

“ _OUT! OUT THIS INSTANT!”_

“ _Yes boss sorry boss!_ ” you said, hurriedly holding the bundle to you before speed walking out the door. It slammed shut a hair-width of a millisecond behind your exit.

_...What the fuck was that about?_

Deciding that would be a mystery for another time, you fast-tracked your way back to the guest room at the far end of the hallway, quickly opening and shutting the door behind you. Making record time, you stripped, toweled yourself off, and slipped into Red’s clothes. Unfortunately, Edge had selected out shorts and a t-shirt—and, although you were _extremely_ thankful, it still wasn’t the warmest wear.

Deciding to do the bare polite minimum, you draped your soaked clothes over the chair by the desk, hopefully avoiding any puddling on the rug. Duty complete, you immediately slid under the covers of the large bed, letting your self-control of your shivers go as you waited for your body heat to warm the covers up.

Laying there, you also realized you were _starving_ , but for once, your appetite took a back seat to the chill. Eventually, slowly, you felt yourself start to warm, the heat taking its sweet time to enter your bones. You knew you _probably_ should get up, and go downstairs, check in with the boys, get something to eat, and maybe bother someone ( _other than Edge_ ) to use the dryer...

_I should definitely get up. I need to get up. It’s probably rude to just sleep while I’m here. Maybe I’ll just wait until the shivering stops..._

Whether it was the stress of the day, the sleepy comfort of growing warmth of the blanket, or the musical pitter-patter of rain as it came down against the darkened window—you were dragged under sleep, unable to protest.

If you dreamt that night[,](https://youtu.be/sb7HykzFDPU) you couldn’t remember it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been forever since I posted twice in two weeks, but the absolute enthusiasm over last chapter had me busting this out quickly! Thank you guys for your sweet comments; this past week has been so much fun. Even though a few of you seem to be speaking in tongues... 
> 
> If you’d like to join on discord, you can find us [here!](https://discord.gg/hT5tSBY)  
> Everyone on our discord is a genuine sweet pea, and you should stop by!  
> You can also follow me on Tumblr: [here](gastersans.tumblr.com) and [here!](skeletonprideparade.tumblr.com)
> 
> ____  
> Oh, one last thing, for those of us with a curious eye:  
> Can anyone else solve a riddle (twice)?  
> jvvru://vkpawtn.eqo/jgnnqaqwfgcttgcfgt


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